K-Love radio station has “Make a Difference Mondays” and “Wow Wednesays” (I think) and I have very recently heard of a “Wow” story I wanted to share. It’s one of those stories that needs to be in the news. It’s the type of tale that needs to go viral. This story is one that gives people a reminder and an inspiration to open their hearts, give their time, and share their resources.

Imagine you have lost your home, your job, your marriage, one of your children is sick and you just lost someone dear in their battle with cancer. While you are still knocked to the ground someone comes along and starts setting things in motion. All of the sudden there just happens to be a house that might b e available rent free for a few months, all it needs is a lot of work, which you don’t know how to do and don’t the resources do. But wait! Here come carpenters, electricians, wood workers, carpet, flooring, and everything else; everyone donating the time, the resources and the talent to get the house ready to occupy.

See, this one person’s hardships is becoming an opportunity for others to show compassion and to be the hands and feet of Jesus. God calls us to help the lost, homeless and sick. I am not sure why more of us don’t do this naturally but I don’t think we do. The people who have gathered to pull this together so that this woman and her family can have a temporary home may have their eyes more opened to the world around them. If this one woman is struggling the way she is what about other families? What about other children, moms, dads, grandparents, and neighbors who struggling to find air in their situation? What can you do? What can I do?

With our Oakwood kids we are talking about this with them for the month of February. We are trying to show them that the little things we do for people in our backyard, or around the world, are the very things Jesus was asking us to do. There is an entire world of hurt and hardship out there. Where is God calling you and what can you do, no matter how small or big it may feel to you, to be Jesus and meet someone in their circumstance and show them that there is a light at the end of the road.

I hung up the phone and threw it on my bed.  I paced the room a little bit trying to catch my breath.  At that moment, being in my room was like a sick joke that was about me so I went into the hallway.  No one else was home.  It was dark.  I screamed.  My entire body ached at the power and magnitude of that scream.  My throat was still sore the next day.  

Something clicked and I can say that I am fairly certain I heard the noise the clicking made.  Lots of people would say this was my “light bulb” moment or my “ah-ha” moment.  But those descriptions imply something good has been discovered.  I think this is more like the clicking sound that a gun makes as the chamber is rotated and it’s pointed at what I thought was real but wasn’t; it’s pointed at the lie, which is slowly uncovering the truth.  The truth is most certainly ugly but it is what it is.  There is nothing I can do about it now but trust in the Lord and know He will always bring me through. 

I prayed to God for strength but I got weaker and more pathetic until the only thing left to do was to fall over Him and rely on His strength.  Since that prayer didn’t go quite the way I had envisioned I am now scared to ask for patience….or any other fruit of the Spirit!  Maybe, I should wait until I am ready to ask for the patience and instead to ask for this clicking noise to go away.  It’s like the second hand on the clock and totally grading on my nerves.  What is that clicking noise telling me?  Is it telling me it’s dead or, is it like the second hand and not the chamber of a gun, telling me there is still more time? 

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  There is no law against these things!” (Galatians 5:22-23)

 I was lying in bed that Sunday morning and I didn’t want to get up.  I try to grasp the words that could explain how I was feeling but I don’t think words can adequately describe it.  I knew I could just stay in bed and shut the world out.  I knew that I could lay there forever letting the waves lap over me until I finally drowned.  However, this verse came to mind. 

David didn’t get what he wanted.  David’s son died.  The first thing he did was get up, clean up, and worship God.  I didn’t get what I wanted either. That morning I did get up.  I didn’t put on a happy face.  I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.  All I knew was that I needed to spend the morning with God and I did.  I do this everyday; this making myself get out bed and face whatever the day may bring.  Some days are easier than others.  Today was a harder one.

I am writing because my friends are encouraging me to start sharing my ramblings once again.  I am not sure if this will keep or not.  All I want to do is lament and that isn’t so fun to read or write day in and day out.  All I know is the road ahead of me is cloudy but I am equally sure that God has great plans and will most definitely turn beauty from what feels like ashes at this very moment.  God is so incredibly good, faithful, and strong.  I thought I had before but I know now I didn’t lean on Him the way I should have.  Now, I feel all I am doing is leaning (or falling over) on my Savior and blindly trusting everything will work out fine when everything feels so wrong. 

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

This winter has been terrible.  It started early with blizzard like snow storms and now we have ice…lots and lots of ice.  Actually, if it wasn’t for the artic temperatures I would take more time to appreciate the beautiful scenery God has planted for us.   Outside my work the trees were coated in frozen snow and ice and in the evening they sparkle.  There is so much snow that the kids haven’t had to worry about it melting away while they are at school.  It’s all there when they get home.   So, I guess I would have to conclude that this is a succesful winter, although I am not sure how much they are going to enjoy spending so many extra days in school this summer because of snow days.

In some respects I feel like I am going through my own little winter.  It’s so hard when things don’t go the way you thought they would or when pain intrudes and can’t simply be pushed away.   When the future you envision becomes cloudy because certainty is no longer there it’s scary.   The experience is like a snow storm, it totally sucks!  And, although I know God will make something beautiful out of it like He always does, it doesn’t make it any easier to drive the road while I am waiting for the storms to pass.

However, I know I will be fine.  God has promised to never forsake his creation.  I believe that although I have moments of dispair he is not goin to let me drown.  Whatever the future holds it will be a wonderful blessed thing because I am letting go and letting God take care of it. 

“For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Life is hard. The harder it is the more you seem to learn but sometimes the road is bumpy, up hill, and you are going against the wind and you would rather crawl in the ditch on the side of the road then take one more step forward. However, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13) and Jesus will give you the strength and resolve to keep taking that next step.

Just keep moving forward knowing that you will always have one more step until your have opened your eyes and taken that first beautiful breath on His side of Heaven.

I haven’t been writing.  I can admit that I miss writing but in a way that you might miss a friend you went to school with years ago: you know they are right there but you really have nothing to say so you don’t.  If there is one thing I have learned it is that God will use us how He needs us and, at the end of the day, I am falling down into bed exhausted as God is running laps in my mind and my heart.

 I have a friend in England I have never actually met.  We started corresponding through my devotions that she found on the blog.  She is my writing cheerleader…everyone needs an encourager.  I imagine my silence has frustrated her to no end as she prays and prays for the day I finally start editing my over-400 pages and try to publish. I am glad God brought her in my life.  Unfortunately, distance means she can’t really see what I am doing as a service to God.  It’s like that isn’t it?  If we don’t see someone on top of the volunteer hill we almost always assume that they obviously aren’t doing anything.  How wrong we can be!

 There is an older gentleman at our church who helps our Administrative Assistant put together the newsletters and bulletins during the week, most people wouldn’t see him doing this.  We have a group of people who do janitorial work voluntarily at our church on Mondays.  There are numerous people who pray every morning for our church family and staff.  We have people who make blankets, kits, meals, soups, and cookies to give to families whenever the need may arise.  There are so many behind-the-scenes ministries that I am not doing them justice.  I guess my point is that every ministry is important and equally so.  My pinky toe may be small and ugly, and I could do without it, but it completes my foot.  Everything everyone does for God is a big and beautiful thing.

I am humbled in that, although I am not writing every morning, God has given me other things to do and I have accepted His challenge.  What is God asking of you today?  Where is He taking you?  I promise, every and any way that God chooses to use you is big to Him!

 “But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it.  How strange a body would be if it had only one part!  Yes, there are many parts, but only one body.” (1 Corinthians 12:18-20)

 I found this verse very interesting.  It doesn’t say someone is going to come and heal everyone of His children.  The verse doesn’t say that God is going to swoop in and be the Daddy Worbucks of the world and grant every material wish it may have.  And Isaiah isn’t saying that the Redeemer is going to tap dance His way into our hearts with sales slogans or begging.  “The Redeemer will come….to buy back….those…who have turned from their sins.”

 Jesus came to earth as man for one reason and one reason alone:  to be the perfect Lamb.  He showed us the way and then paved the road for us with His own blood.  Now, when you confess your heart to God and accept Jesus as your Redeemer you are promised an eternity with Him.  All the blessings that fall on you, all the trials that make you stronger, the people who come into your life to make it richer, and looking in a child’s eyes—your child’s eyes—is all icing on an already perfect cake.  The Savior came for you, to buy you and bring you to the Lord, and your eternity has already begun.

 “And the people will come from all over the world—from east and west, north and south—to take their places in the Kingdom of God.  And note this:  Some who seem least important now will be the greatest then, and some who are the greatest now will be the least important then.” (Luke 13:29-30)

 *This one is for Cleanslate Evangelical Ministries, thank you.

 A couple weeks ago I was doing a deposit run for work.  Our offices are located right to the south of downtown Des Moines.  I take 7^th Street into downtown but then it melds into one-way 6^th Street before I get to the bank.  Just passed the train tracks, and right there at the court house, I see a red car hang a u-turn and get in the left lane heading right toward me.  Honestly, if I wasn’t on company time I may have played chicken a little longer than I did, but I switched lanes and was dumbfounded because the woman was looking at me like I was going the wrong way!  Surprisingly, I kept me trap shut and my mind somewhat silent and I was thankful for the sermon on our tongues the day before. J

 How long did we go the wrong way on our life road before we realized it?  How often do we question which the right way is when our Bibles are sitting in our laps and God places signs and people all around us?  And, how often do we know we are going the right way yet people look at us like we are crazy?  Either way, it seems people are going to stare at what you and I do.  They are carefully watching, even if they say they aren’t, because it is curious for people to live for something others don’t understand.  We have come through the gate and are walking those greener pastures even as we struggle with our sins, joblessness, financial burdens, troubled relationships and I think people looking in don’t understand our constant joy and peace because we know we are going the right way.

 “If the Lord wants us to, we will live this and do this or that.”  (James 4:15b)

 The kitchen is not my normal morning prayer spot.  I usually sit on the couch in my living room with my eggs and coffee next to me as I do my devotions.  However, as the coffee was brewing and the microwave was going I closed my eyes and the prayers kept coming.  It’s amazing how in such a short moment of time I can feel sorrow, praise, thankfulness, concern, excitement, love, and passion all at the same time.  I felt sincerely hugged by Jesus this morning and when I read this verse I couldn’t help but imagine He gave me an extra squeeze as well.  I like the idea of being drawn to Him.

 This morning I am reminded that God will meet me where ever I am.  If I allow Him, He will draw me closer to Him no matter where I am standing.  I could be standing in the sanctuary at church or I could be falling into bed in exhaustion after having it out with one of the kids or my husband….you know, those days when your anger gets the best of you!  Jesus will be there regardless if I am swimming in mission projects or just trying to make it through a day of nothing to do.   Today He met me in the kitchen, where is He going to find you?

 “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”  (James 1: 2-3)