Journeys

“I know, Lord, that our lives our not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So, correct me, Lord, but please be gentle.” (Jeremiah 10:23-24)

 

I read that today and I almost started to giggle, even though I know it’s not funny. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times I have prayed that exact prayer! Even reading it over and over again I can see it in my mind. How many times have I sat in this exact spot and let God know that I know He is in control? How many times have I confessed my sins but then, in the back of my mind, I am chanting “be gentle, be gentle, be gentle”? Do you ever feel good when you know you are not alone in your heart?

 

My journey through the Bible this morning was much of the same. I came across verses, as I did my morning Lent readings, and each time I felt God speaking to me. This is why I love God’s Word because the pages aren’t just filled with words. This tattered book I carry around with me, and try to pick up every morning, has become His voice in my heart. Now, I don’t get these warm fuzzy feelings every time but when I do it’s pretty neat stuff and I reminded once again of God’s beauty and His grace and love. I am reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love Him!

 

So, I finish this up with a few more versus from today.

 

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2)

 

“Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live.” (Psalm 43:3)

 

“For the sin of this one man, Adam, causes death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ,” (Romans 5:17)

 

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

Just Another Day

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

 

It’s my husband’s birthday today BUT before anyone goes rushing to their Facebooks, email accounts, or cell phones STOP! He doesn’t want birthday wishes because it’s “just another day”, which of course irritated me enough that it’s all I can think about, hence the subject matter of the day: him. If you wish him happy birthday he may not join me for “just a regular day” lunch at work. So, if I don’t eat it is your fault (wait until after lunch).

 

On this incredibly normal day I will share with you how very irritated my husband can make me. In fact, I am pretty sure he can irritate me more quickly than anyone else on the planet and he is proud of how good he is at doing this. On the other hand, the better one, one smile and my husband can make me laugh and end a fight, which irritates me again! Our friendship, our marriage, and our love is not without its emotional roller coasters but I am blessed every moment he is with me. He is the man I never I knew I needed. He is my lover, my best friend, a wonderful dad, and, I believe, my soul mate.

 

He will always be the first to say that I helped him stay the course. However, I wonder if he will ever know how much his strength and love have helped me put one foot in front of the other. Those few times when my faith gets wobbly he is right there with an infusion of guidance to get me back into place. He would say I am the strong one but it’s when I am not, and I feel like everything is falling apart, he gently walks me back to the Lord’s feet. So, on this incredibly normal day I want to praise and thank God for the man He has so graciously given me to walk with on earth. I am blessed, I am loved, and I am….probably in a bit of trouble!

 

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it.” (Song of Songs 8:6-7a)

Embarrassingly Naked

“I tried to relieve your fears: ‘Don’t be terrified of them. God, your God, is leading the way; he’s fighting for you. You saw with your own eyes what he did for you in Egypt; you saw what he did in the wilderness, how God, your God, carried you as a father carries a child, carried you the whole way until you arrived here. But now that you’re here, you won’t trust God, your God—‘” (Deuteronomy 1:29-31 The Message)

 

I am overwhelmed with family. I am overwhelmed with school. I am overwhelmed with a special needs child. I am overwhelmed trying to be the wife and mother I am called to be. I am overwhelmed with busyness but then overwhelmed when I can’t think of what to do. I am overwhelmed trying to be healthy and lose weight. I am overwhelmed with our finances. I am overwhelmed trying to keep a house and I am overwhelmed trying to keep my faith in line when there are days when it feels like the balls I so precariously juggle are bouncing down the road and I am overwhelmed keeping chasing them down. And what is it again that I try to teach over and over again? I shout out constantly that God is good, when we hand everything over to God we will find peace, and (my favorite) God has a beautiful and perfect plan. Once again it is easier said than done.

 

With all that you may find it incredible that I have peace and reassurance in my faith. In spite of being terribly overwhelmed, some days anyway, I can usually go with the flow fairly well. God has found ways to remind me that I am where I am and, honestly, I couldn’t and wouldn’t change a thing. I love my husband and so I love being his wife. I adore my children and so even the hard days are a joy. I love accounting so work is a reward. I believe I am a student by nature and so school is something I look forward to. And, as far as the juggling….I have never been very good at balance so it’s no wonder that I drop the ball quite often.

 

My point is that everything is about perspective. Yes, I will be the first to admit that there is a lot going on but we have a home, we have food, we have power, we have jobs, we are healthy, and we have an amazing family and circle of friends. God is good. In the chaos of it all I take a big deep breath in and I breath out and I put one foot in front of the other and I smile because, even on the cloudiest day, I am still standing in the Sun.

 

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your hear to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:5-8)

The Promise

“I turned my face away and punished them because of their defilement and their sins. So now, this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will end the captivity of my people; I will have mercy on all Israel, for I jealously guard my holy reputation! They will accept responsibility for their past shame and unfaithfulness after they come home to live in peace in their own land, with no one to bother them. When I bring them home from the lands of their enemies. I will display my holiness among them for all the nations to see. The my people will know that I am the Lord their God, because I sent them away to exile and brought them home again. I will leave non of my people behind. And I will never again turn my face from them, for I will pour out my Spirit upon the people of Israel. I, the Sovereign Lord, have spoken!” (Ezekiel 39:24-29)

 

Sin is real and sin is very present in our lives. For many of us, we were swimming in the values of the world and we got so deep that we didn’t think that God would be able to reach in and pull us safely to shore again, or that He would have wanted to. He did pull us out of the water and He will continue to help us up again every time we fall. He does this because He has poured His Spirit into us and when we accepted that gift we became His sons and daughters.

 

God’s love is greater for us than we can possibly fathom. His desire to be with us, and for us to choose Him, is immeasurable. God wants His family to reflect Him and He wants His family to be with Him. No matter where you have been, or what you have done, God has rescued you and He is with you at all times. We are no longer trapped in the values of ideas of the world. We have been made heirs of God and our worth and value were determined the day that Jesus hung on a cross for ALL the sins of the world. We just have to trust that He is there and ready to help us along the road that leads to Him.

 

“God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:17)

 

It is cold!

“Our God approaches and he is not silent. Fire devours everything in his way, and a great storm rages around him.” (Psalm 50:3)

 

This winter is Iowa has been plagued with lots of snow, icy roads, and now freezing temps. I guess freezing temperatures would be simplifying what some people will experience as they head out to work today (schools are all closed). Right now it is about -20 degrees out. Skin will freeze in under 10 minutes and you really need to make sure your car will start and warm up before you leave for wherever you need to go. Iowa hasn’t faced these kinds of temperatures in almost 31 years. I did the math super fast when Channel 8 said so this morning because the date was significant. The last time it was this cold was on February 4, 1996. That is significant because it was my birthday, my senior year in high school, I had just found out I was pregnant (yeah, happy birthday), and I wasn’t in Iowa….or I was on my way out.

 

My dad and I drove to San Francisco and we did it in 26 hours. We only stopped to fill up and empty out. I got to see the Rocky Mountains for the first time (that I remember) and we got a great picture of Lake Tahoe. I remember that, in San Francisco, the grass was green in February. We visited my great-aunts and looked at some communities. My family was considering a move out there. Obviously we opted for below freezing temperatures and corn instead of fog and congestion. But it was a good trip and I enjoyed the time with my dad. The scariest part was telling my dad I was pregnant and, more than likely, that I was alone.

 

In a moment of true fear I experienced the love and grace that I thought never existed, although I am sure my parents offered up plenty of grace as I grew up. I didn’t get yelled at. I wasn’t called names. I wasn’t evicted. It was worse and better than all of that. I could see the disappointment and fear on my parents’ faces and then they simply shrugged their shoulders and said they would be there for me as I moved forward. I am sure that God doesn’t shrug but I know that He has more grace than anyone could imagine. In your moments of worst fear, in those extremely cold places of your life, God is waiting for you to bring Him into the folds of your problems so that He can help you get out and get you warm.  As you face your fears He is there to bring you through. And as we stumble, He is there to make us right again and carry us as we rebuild our strength.

 

“No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 Message)  

Psalm 23

“The Lord is my shepherd;

            I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

            He leads me beside peaceful streams.

            He knows my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

            bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk

            through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid,

            for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

            protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me

            in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

            my cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

            All the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23

Doing Everything Wrong

“He seized the dragon—that old serpent, who is the devil, Satan—and abound him in chains for a thousand years. The angel threw him into the bottomless pit, which he then shut and locked so Satan could not deceive the nations anymore until the thousand years were finished.” (Revelations 20:2-3a)

 

I spent most of yesterday afternoon at the hospital with my sisters. The middle of the three of us had to be admitted. She had some bleeding on her brain that has stopped. However, it has caused her to struggle with her speech and some of her motor skills on her right side. They will be running more tests on her this morning to determine what happened and how to fix it. I was, of course, panicked when I got the phone call but a very good friend talked me through it. Then on the way home I was sad to leave her. Finally, as I am sure my body was completely drained of energy from the day, I realized how lucky we were that she was still alive and I spent the rest of the evening near, or at, tears. I went to bed, and then woke up, very thankful that I get to call her and visit her today….again, on the brink of tears.

 

I feel like I am doing everything wrong lately. I spend lots of my time eating too much, not sleeping enough, being stressed, worrying too much, and being angry too much. It sounds weird just typing that out because, on the other hand, I have been trying to focus on God, filled with adoration for Him, and loving seeing Jesus in so much of my everyday. There are obviously two sides of me at conflict right now and when I realize this I get even angrier because I know how it all ends. Jesus wins. We win. The devil, and all the fallen things of this world, will lose! We know the end of the story. Satan knows the end of the story. So, why then, do have moments when we struggle with direction, with life, and with our emotions and choices. God has simplified everything so well but I continue to make it so hard.

 

I was reminded yesterday of what a sweet gift God has given us with our loved ones and I don’t want to waste any of the time I have with the people in my life or the job that God has given me. It’s hard to walk in the Light when you carry too much on your back, and I have been carrying too much on my back. My prayer today is that I will start handing over my worries, my eating, my sleeping, and my stress to God and let Him carry them. He is much better at carrying that kind of stuff than me anyway. And we need to remember that we can chose to live in the struggles of this world or we can choose to live in the victory that we know is Christ Jesus. I want to choose victory!

 

“I saw no temple in the city, for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. And the city has no need of sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its light. The nations will walk in its light, and the kings of the world will enter the city in all their glory. Its gates will never be closed at the end of the day because there is no night there. And all the nations will bring their glory and honor into the city. Nothing evil will be allowed to enter, nor anyone who practices shameful idolatry and dishonesty—-but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.” (Revelations 21:22-27)

 

We are the Circus

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

 

We saw the Cirque de la Symphonie on New Years Eve. It was an amazing night and a neat way to introduce a different genre of music to our kids. The music was beautiful, the acrobatics were shockingly amazing, and the talent was breath taking. I was torn between watching the faces of my family as new things flashed across the stage and watching the stage itself. How incredible that so much talent can be displayed in one night and on one stage.

 

Two women, in two completely different songs, demonstrated a strength and flexibility that had the crowd “oohing” and “awing” in sync. The juggler was amazing and my youngest happened to mention, at the exact moment I thought it, that it looked like that funny little clown had three arms whenever he was juggling because he moved so quickly. Another guy came out and had a hollow 3-D box that he twirled that may not sound too exiting but it had the effect of a laser show and I couldn’t keep my eyes off the box as it whirled around the guy. The “strongman” act was a true demonstration of strength as these two guys showcased a level of discipline and strength I have never seen before. And let’s not forget the music: it was fabulous! The Des Moines Symphony really out did themselves. Our youngest was quite impressed that they remembered to play a StarWars song for him. They also had a 13-year old come out and play a song on the piano and he will a rising star; I am sure of it. It was a night of beautiful talent and I am glad that we decided to go.

 

God gives everyone different abilities. If all the people in the Cirque de la Symphonie did the same thing, equally talented in exactly the same talents, the show would have sucked (honestly). We are the circus, my friends. God has given us beautiful talents and abilities and when we work together we can produce amazing things through our differences. Some of us are good at juggling, some of us are able to contort ourselves to make things work, some our strength and ability to work on teams gets mighty mountains of ministry moving, and still, some of us are that star that will move people and show them the beauty of life. We are the circus….we are the church and it’s time, everyday, to get the show on the road. Pray about what God is asking you to do and fix your eyes on it now. He’ll walk you through it and see you safely to the other side.

 

“Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and  strength belong to God forever and ever! Amen.” (Revelation 7:12)

I got that…maybe not

“Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do.” (1 Peter 4:4)

 

There were many passages I read this morning that really caused me to pause and ask: Do I get it? How is it that 2,000 years ago that people were going through the same things as we do today. I haven’t had any issues with former friends the way others I know have but there are other things that I can relate to and, yet still, other things I wish I felt I understood better.

 

Like 1 Peter 4:12 “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at that fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange is happening to you.” I got that. Our salvation does not keep us from life’s trials and we can use them to become stronger for God. I will honestly say I don’t like the trials and since I seem to go through the same trial over and over again I feel as though I am either not learning what He is trying to show me or that He is building me up for something.

 

2 Peter 2:19b “For you are a slave to whatever controls you.” This one sucks. There is no one person I feel that controls me. However, there are times when I feel out of control and I can’t seem to turn on my self-control button. The Bible says the Spirit gives us self-control, I just haven’t done a very good job of figuring out where it is. Consequently, there are days when I feel like I am a slave to my lack of self-control when I would much rather feel like a slave to God, whom I gladly serve.

 

1 John 1:9 “but if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” If we confess all our sins but forget one, I mean honestly forget, are we not truly forgiven. Once we accept Jesus into our hearts and are saved does that mean past, present, and future sins are forgiven by default? What if you die before you have a chance to confess a sin? Does it make a difference if that sin was by ‘accident” or if it was deliberate?

 

I imagine many of my questions, and some days there are more than others, won’t be answered while I breathe on this earth. Sometimes there are probably only questions that can be answered by God Himself, or questions we will most definitely see on the other side of Heaven. I am okay with not knowing all the answers though. Having a direct answer to any of my questions does not help decide if I have faith or not. I am pretty sure I had even more questions the day I stepped over that line into faith and belief. This morning I am just glad that God took the time to make sure His Word spoke to me, right where I am, this very moment in time, telling me He knows and He loves. Those are the only answers I really need.

 

“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

Snow Day!

“For you know quite well that the day of the Lord’s return will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night.” (1 Thessalonians 5:2)

 

It’s a snow day today and there is no school. Children of all ages, including some very grown up people I know, wait and pray for a day like this. All this past week I could tell that my children’s teachers were hoping for a snow day this week because they sent the kids home every night anticipating the next day to be one (this was actually really annoying). Ah, but behold! We have 1/10” of ice under 2” of sleet under 2-4” of snow. Snow day! Great joy will fill the house as my little babes wake up one by one and realize their great fortune.  The joy will be reversed, however, when the school year gets extended out an extra day and they realize that they could have made their first trip to the pool but instead they are sitting in hot sticky classrooms.

 

People have been waiting for the day when Jesus raptures His children for thousands of years now. I can honestly say that I fully anticipate this day to come every day and I want to be ready. My children have their hats, mittens, games, and anything else they need ready to enjoy this much anticipated day of no school. It’s easier, and not so easy, to be ready for the Lord to come. For me it is a process of learning to not cling to things of this earth. It is a process of loving the people in my life but realizing I could never love them as much as Jesus. It’s a process of getting to know Jesus as much as possible through His Word because I want to know the One I will be spending an eternity with. I may teach kids at church but I need to reach and volunteer out in the community more. I may pray for people in the comfort and safety of my own home but I really need to go pray with them. See, until that day comes I need to keep working and studying for Jesus.

 

My children, and many across the great state of Iowa, have been dreaming of a day just like today. What are you dreaming of? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for a raise or a pink slip? Are you waiting for a husband or a wife? Are you waiting for your kids to get past the stage where they totally grate on your nerves? Are you waiting for your hero to come from the war? Are you waiting for Christmas so you can give the gifts you got for everyone or open the ones others got for you? One of the things I desire more than anything is for Jesus to come! A part of me wants to pause at that though but honestly, nothing I, or my family, could experience could possibly compare to finally realizing that beautiful day….even though my brain wants me to picture everything we would miss a little too long. Lord Jesus, I pray that you come grab us today but if it is not time yet I pray that you let us know what we need to get everything ready so that you can. Amen.

 

“Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. So encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11)