Smarts

“Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” (1 Kings 3:9)

 

Disciplining your children is so hard.   Actually, being a parent is tough in a lot of ways. You want your kids to be happy and enjoy being a kid but then you have to balance that out with making sure you give them structure and correction at the same time.  When I woke up this morning the first thought in my head was asking God to help show me the way.  My prayers were swimming in questions of guidance and understanding as a parent. Coincidentally, I also read 1 Kings 3: 1-15. I love it when God lets me know He is there and He is listening.

 

Parenting is interesting. We have done things right and we have done things wrong and as we enter into the their teen years it’s not so much about how much we work to make our kids great, it’s about how hard they work to help make their own lives better.  I feel like we are in gridlock some days.  We are constantly, not in a pushy way, giving our children the tools they need to be independent, responsible, and community oriented adults.  We try really hard to live by example.  They may be successful, they may rebel, or they’ll probably do a really kid mix of the two. That’s just our three children. Imagine being the Parent of all of creation!

 

I woke up this morning begging God for guidance.  He gave it to me.  God knows better than anyone how frustrating it is to raise up children who, at times, make bad decisions and don’t get it no matter how many times it is explained.  I was one of those kids!  And I don’t know what path is laid out before my children but I do pray about it everyday.  Most of what I do is to help the kids and to encourage and build them up.  I love being a mom and I have absolutely amazing children.  The smarts I want my children to embrace in life (hopefully sooner than later) come from the ultimate wisdom of God.  Even as old and used up as you may think the Bible is, everything is found right there:  love and live; get rich quick doesn’t work (Proverbs 22:8), laziness doesn’t pay out well either (Romans 12:11), be smart with your finances (Proverbs 21:20), forgive often (Matthew 6: 14-15), and much MUCH more: respect your parents, parents love your children, husbands and wives love each other and adore each other, give give give!!! It’s all right there.  I just hope I am listening as God helps me help them.

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Hiding

“Well then, you might say, ‘Why does God blame people for not responding? Haven’t they simply done what he makes them do?’” (Romans 9:19)

 

I love writing. My passion may have been hard to see lately, since my schedule has begun to overwhelm me again, but I do love writing. And I am not sure if it is the writing so much as that I feel obligated to do it. Because of this obligation I feel God is sometimes holding a magnifying glass to my life, somewhat like what salaried church staff may experience without my name being in the bulletin (oh yeah, and without the salary). I appreciate this magnifying glass immensely because not only is God using the jumbled up morning ramblings of a random woman to reach out to people but He has chipped away at the fortress I built around myself and there is very rarely anything in my life that everyone cannot see. You all walk this path with me and I may hesitate but I always end up sharing my struggles and my triumphs, regardless if you want to hear it or not. God is who I am accountable for in all things. Because I am in Him there is no hiding.

 

Sometimes I wish I had God’s knack for knowing everything that goes on in the heart of His children. Although, I will admit that the idea scares me. I believe God knows every miscellaneous thought that has crossed my brain and/or heart, which makes me want to hurl. There are days when I wish I could be with my kids throughout every moment like God is with me. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so scared of what they may encounter. There are other days when I am thankful for their trials because they will hopefully learn and grow from them as I have from mine. Whereas I cannot hide from God, my children (and anyone else for that matter) can hide from me. I pray for the day when my children love God the way that I do and know that there is no reality in hiding from the Creator of the universe.

 

I am thankful that our God is not holding strings and dictating our every move because then I don’t think life would be worth living. I am equally thankful that I feel extremely accountable to God and that He has placed people in my life to pick me up when I fall. Two days ago, if you were to ask me what my biggest fear would be I would have told you that I didn’t have one. Now, I realize that my biggest fear is what my children may choose to hide from me as they grow. I can tell you, I think with all honesty, that I, unlike God, do NOT want to know everything. I will be frank and say that there are somethings I would rather just pretend won’t happen. But I don’t want to be the parent with rose colored glasses who misses everything. I simply pray that as my children live their lives that they look to God, and the people He has placed in their lives, to help pick them up when they fall. I pray they realize there really is no hiding, no matter how well they guard themselves.

 

if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

 

Dedication

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” (Mark 12:20)

 

My oldest son has decided to go out for track. This will be his first official school sport. Oh, he has been playing sports for seven years but those were with leagues in the city. The expectations are much higher with the school. He is now a representative of his school and his coaches have very high expectations of him and his fellow teammates. I can hope he realizes and embraces this choice he has made. I also hope this helps him focus, although I am not holding my breath. He is, after all, starting to knock on that door of being a teenager.

 

I think of how many times I have tried something new. Sometimes I know what is expected of me up front like teaching on Wednesday nights. There are other times when I have no clue what I have gotten myself into like the mission project I am working on right now (it’s coming along slowly).  Each time I have put myself out there God has molded me. Sometimes He lets me know that what I just tried need not be tried again. Other times he nudges me to dig deeper because I have hit the sweet spot. Either way, God is right there as I try to be purposeful about searching and seeking out the plans God has for me. Anyone who says living for God, and His will, is easy simply doesn’t know. Living for God takes dedication.

 

It’s this dedication that I pray my son gets a good taste of. I pray that the hard work he is going to put forth over the next six weeks will demonstrate how hard work pays off and how rewarding it is to be part of a team, achieve goals, and honorably represent something bigger than himself. I actually pray this for all my children. As we live in such a self centered culture I really hope my children think outside of themselves and grow serving hearts. I want them to be dedicated to God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. Let’s see if we can’t all be more dedicated to God and the higher calling He has on our lives. Let us all get into this race, hit the track hard, and run to win.

 

“And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” (Hebrews 12: 1a-2a)

Better than Me

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

 

Our oldest son has begun that stage in his life where it seems like his brain doesn’t function properly because, to us, he doesn’t always make sense. He can frustrate us to no end and we fear this will only grow since he is just now embarking on his teenage years. Thankfully, there are also times when we see the bright young man he is becoming shine through. He is giving, great with little kids, funny, and loving. He really is a great kid and I realized he is doing much better than I did at his age.

 

By the time I got through my seventh grade year I had already had my first cigarette and was hanging out with kids I knew where not going to take me down a right path. I was already kissing boys and I am pretty sure I had already experimented with drinking. I was not doing well and I think part of it was that I didn’t have what we have been able to give my son: a family of faith. I spent the first few hours of my 12^th year in a bar with my dad and his friends. I had always been around smoke, alcohol and drugs. I am seeing what a difference lifestyle can make on children.

 

I am not so stupid that I think that because we go to church that my children will not experiment and try this and that. However, I truly believe that the role models they have and the relationships that have built by growing up in the faith will have a tremendous impact on them and their choices in life. If my children head down the wrong road one day they will know that they are doing it with their eyes wide open. In the mean time I will pray for them, love them, and discipline them. I pray that God will guide their steps. I pray that God will place godly friends on their paths and I pray that they truly have a heart for God and a relationship with Jesus. I pray that God will help us be the parents we need to be and I thank God for all the people in our family of faith you are helping us raise our children.

 

“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!”

 

Safe Haven

“Jesus replied, ‘Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?’ Then he said, ‘Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.’” (Luke 12:14-15)

 

I spent much of last night tossing and turning. I was having a hard time sleeping and so I had a lot of time on my hands to think of the news, economy, up-coming elections, and anything else that came across my brain. However, the big thing on my mind has been the Nebraska Safe Haven Law. The law went into affect in July of this year (2008) and already 23 kids have been abandoned. Of these 23, at least four were teenagers…almost adults.

 

I actually can appreciate a law that protects children so well. I find it equally sad that such a law is needed but if it ends babies being found in trash cans or behind broken down buildings I think we are making progress. It’s the older ‘child’ that I am most sad for today. How does it feel to be 17 and dropped off and abandoned? Weren’t there any other options? Weren’t there family or friends that could have helped? What was the situation at home that his or her parents was protection them from?  Was it financial? Was it homelessness? Did it have anything to do with drugs or abuse? And, then, what happens to this teenager? What is the future like? Is it brighter? Is it safer? My heart pounds as I try to wrap this around my brain.

 

Then, as I have done so often lately, I am able to put my own life in perspective. We may not have a lot “extra” assets lying around but our bills are getting paid and we have food on the table, which is enough for me to feel as I am doing everything I need to do for my children and more. There may be things I want to do or I want the kids to do but it may not be in the cards today. However, our family is healthy, we laugh together, we fight together, we say our prayers together, we are part of a beautiful family of faith, and we are full of hope.  What kind of hope did these parents have that they gave up their kids? What kind of future is in store for someone who knows they were abandoned? What aren’t we doing, and what can we do, to reach out the community and help those who need it so that they don’t have to give up their kids?  

 

We are so blessed beyond measure, now is the time, and economic outlook, for us to reach way down within ourselves and see if we are giving, serving, and loving as much as we can to make this world a better place and to build up the Kingdom for Jesus.

 

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his might power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

He Can Be Just Like Me

“She must be well respected by everyone because of the good she has done. Has she brought up her children well? Has she been kind to strangers and served other believers humbly? Has she helped those who are in trouble? Has she always been ready to do good?” (1 Timothy 5:10)

 

I am experiencing a slight occurrence of attention deficit this morning. I had thought of something to write about as I lay in bed this morning waiting for the alarm to go off. By the time I got downstairs the thought had totally eluded me. As I was reading Ezekiel a little while ago I came across an amazing verse that I thought would make a great story but I put down my Bible, walked my cold feet to the hot coffee and my writing subject plagued me every step of the way: a 12 year old young man.

 

So far this morning, in a matter of approximately 5-10 minutes we have talked about homework, hot lunch, cleaning the house, graded school work, movies, dinner, tomorrow’s breakfast, hygiene, and Saturday night. Any of my closest friends will know that covering that much subject matter in a small space of time is of little challenge to me. It’s no wonder that my son and I can pace each other so well and at such an early hour in the morning. We are extremely similar to one another and sometimes that is good and sometimes it makes me cringe.

 

Sometimes my 12 year old will say something or do something that gives me flashbacks to when I was younger and I was not a very good little girl. I was spoiled, did what ever I wanted no matter whom it may hurt, and I thought the world revolved around me. So, when I see the similarities I get a little scared. However, this young man has something that I didn’t have: faith.

 

If you were to ask Him the way to Heaven, he would tell you: only through Jesus. If you were to ask him if liked church he would look at you funny and say, “yeah, why” (like you were an idiot).  If there is an occasion that he may miss youth group there is a panicked look on his face and he bravely fights back tears. Through Greg and I, our friends, our immediate family, our family of faith, great leaders, strong youth programs, and a lot of prayers has been given a strong foundation that will hopefully guide him on his journey through life.

 

Yes, my son is just like me. My parents remind me often of that fact. But I can honestly say, with my big-grown-up voice, that it’s okay. We enjoy each other a lot, we understand each other, and we can read each other pretty well. Even when my son makes his mistakes in life I will continue to love him and pray for him. At the end of a bad day, when my son reaches out for my hand and asks if I want him to pray with me, I can still smile and thank God for sending him to me because I am pretty sure that when a little seven pound 1/2 ounce baby boy was given to me the rest of my life was changed forever. (oh, and he was born at 4:42 am….maybe we are just morning people)

 

“I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.  For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.  May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

A Mother’s Love

“Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone determined to do his will.” (Isaiah 50:7)

                      

All the kids are up already and I am not my chipper-self being very tired today. It’s amazing how many questions they can plague me with at six in the morning. I was sitting here, in my chair, with my eyes closed, praying and I was interrupted with, “mom….mom….mom”. I know Anne Graham Lotz says that some interruptions are divine appointments but my children (especially the oldest one) know to give mommy a little peace when she is praying. Needless to say I am irritated with the noise and my kids this morning, which is why I prayed harder for them.

 

As they interrupted me I kept thanking God for them over and over again. I wanted to let Him know that I value the gifts He has given me and I wanted to kind chant out how much I love my kids. I know it sounds bad, especially when I just wrote about how much we just need to love on our kids but that is why I went to God about it. When I fail, and being so irritated this morning I felt that I did, I do not run away or even think about running away. I go to God. I lift my worries and anger to Him and ask Him to guide me.

 

The sounds in my home are not what I imagined as I pulled myself out of bed this morning. There is a kid in the other room who thinks he is a ninja, another child asking about the safest way to pack his food, and a little girl who is singing and singing…oh! Someone just let out an incredible belch…that would be the ninja. Now all I can do is smile to myself. I am irritated but how I love these kids.

 

I am sure that God does that a lot with us. I am sure that we irritate Him like we cannot imagine and yet He is constantly loving on us and offering us grace and being so very patient as He waits for us to get it right. Thank you, Lord, for being such an awesome role model. Thank you for the monkeys you have given me and Lord thank you for grace, forgiveness, and joy because I can’t imagine a life without them.

 

“We love each other because he loved us first.” (1 John 4:19)

The Stars in the Sky

“When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars that you have set in place—what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?” (Psalm 8:3-4)

 

For some reason, while I was driving yesterday, I had a vivid memory come to mind. I had remembered my love for stars. I remember looking up at the night sky and feeling like I could just reach out and touch all of them. If I could just get high enough on my tip toes then I would be able to hold them in my hand. I soon realized that the stars were out of my reach, which seemed to be a common theme with any dream I had ever had.

 

I spent a lot of time settling. I settled for mediocre grades, I settled for guys who treated me poorly, I settled for working only as much as necessary but never more….I settled a lot. For some reason I was stuck in a place where I didn’t think I could reach my dreams and so I stuck with what was safe and what was right in front of me. Like the stars, my own potential simply felt out of reach.

 

I went a long time not believing I was good for anything and then God had shown me how special I truly was. But I have learned that I can be devoted to God, be the best wife and mother I can, go to work everyday, attempt to keep my house in order, and do so many other things right and I will still feel like I am grabbing for stars that are not there. However, I have also learned that these trials and hardships only make me stronger and bring me closer to Jesus.

 

I have learned that God has beautiful plans for my life. I have learned that He will equip me with all the tools I need to walk His path. I have learned that I do not need to settle for anything. I have learned that even though I look up at the night sky and I am overwhelmed with its beauty, God loves me more than that.  God loves us more than the universe that He created. God had put everything into motion yet still has taken the time to craft me and prepare a plan for me!

 

No matter the hill or the valley that I walk I can keep my eyes facing forward and my arms stretched out. I will keep reaching and working toward my goals with no fear of failing because my goals are not about me, they are about God and living to bring Him glory. When I finally come to that point in my life when I have reached God I will be assured that I have done so much better than simply holding a star in my hand.

 

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

A Beautiful Sound

“Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked?” (Ecclesiastes 7:13)

 

This verse caught my eyes this morning. Lots of versus I try to look up, or that I come across, have to do with God’s perfect plan or the beauty and perfection of God’s ways over mine. However, sometimes perfection is hard to see when our lives are so broken at times. So, I like the idea of not trying to see the beauty of something but, instead, admiring the brokenness.

 

You have to admit that it is not our smooth sailing and happy go lucky lives that bring us to our knees before God. Although we can look back and ask God why He would allow something to happen, when it comes down to it would you have changed it? The trials I have gone through, the valleys that Jesus has carried me out of and the mistakes I have made have done more to deepen my lean on God more than anything else in my life. I have slowly discovered that depending on me and relying on the world is not the way I was designed and we all know that when we do not use things the way the manufacturer intended the warrantee does not cover the damage.

 

Geoffrey Moore sings a song called “Beautiful Sound”. In this song he names events that make a beautiful sound: waves crashing down, knees hitting the ground, song of praise, lost being found, a proud man breaking. All these things can bring us closer to God and how much more beautiful is that? Without breaking would we still seek out God or would continue to rely on ourselves? Would we go to our Maker for redemption if we thought we could do it on our own? I thank God for the crooked path my life has taken at times because I am even more thankful for the grace that He has given me because of it.

 

“’In those days when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,’ says the Lord’” (Jeremiah 29:12-14a)

Kids are so Lucky

Suppose a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or mother, even though they discipline him. In such a case, the father and mother must take the son to the elders as they hold court at the town gate. The parents must say to the elders, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of his town must stone him to death. In this way, you will purge this evil from among you, and all Israel will hear about it and be afraid.” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

 

Reading those verses my eyes got big and I thought about how many of us would be without children had we lived in the days of Moses. I mean, almost any time you read about taking something to the town gate to hold court in the Old Testament you can just as often guarantee that someone or something was going to get stoned. But, I think there is one thing parents can take from passages like these and that is that you are not alone. An entire village was there to take care of business over 2000 years ago and you have an entire village to help take care of business today. It’s just that “business” has evolved over time.

 

Within our church family at Oakwood we have teachers, leaders, encouragers, mentors, and role models. Hopefully all churches have these kinds of people. Not only can we get advice from each other but we can learn from each other and we can listen to each other. Because of the people in my village I know that my kids are normal and I get ideas and direction when we hit stumbling blocks. And because of the people in my village my children have excellent role models and mentors in their life helping guide them on their faith journey.

 

We are not alone in anything. When you are part of a strong Christian church you have the love of God surrounding you through all the gifts, talents, and experiences of your brother and sisters in Christ. Find the blessing of a church family and you will not find an easy ride through life, but you will find the tools you need to take on the journey. And love on your children when they are naughty and when they are nice. They need to know that you love them and that every day is a new day to start again.

 

“Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me.” (Mark 9:37)