Clarity

“So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” (Romans 7:14-15)

 

I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I was having a good deep sleep when the alarm first went off. I should have gotten up then but I hit the snooze. The alarm went off again just as the girls called me to say they were on their way. For the first time in months we were walking. We haven’t gotten together for our morning walk for a while now. Getting up everyday at 5 am is an easy habit to break and a hard one to reacquire. My schedule allows me to work out (most days) in the afternoon if I wish, if I wish.

 

I can already tell a difference.  I haven’t lost 20 lbs in one morning but I do feel clear and refreshed. I got to spend the morning with two fabulous women. We talked; we laughed, and caught up. I got my “girl time” in. I got my body moving. I am not sure which one helps me stay more focused when I come home and talked to God and read my Bible, but I had no problem rolling the praises out this morning! I couldn’t stop thinking of things I was thankful for and how big God is. I love mornings like that, when I see a little more clearly than I had the previous night when I went to bed.

 

This has seemed like a long winter. Even with the storms rolling over us now I am hopeful for what the change in seasons brings. Being able to workout and spend time with my friends every morning really does help me gear up for whatever God is going to pass over me in the day ahead. I know not everyone is going to get re-charged the way I do but do you know what you need to get there? What refreshes you? What helps you stay clear? I think I had forgotten how badly I needed this or how beautifully God had made me to cherish these early mornings. I hope I don’t need to be reminded again.

 

“Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! Worship the lord with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.” (Psalm 100: 1-5)

Journeys

“I know, Lord, that our lives our not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So, correct me, Lord, but please be gentle.” (Jeremiah 10:23-24)

 

I read that today and I almost started to giggle, even though I know it’s not funny. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times I have prayed that exact prayer! Even reading it over and over again I can see it in my mind. How many times have I sat in this exact spot and let God know that I know He is in control? How many times have I confessed my sins but then, in the back of my mind, I am chanting “be gentle, be gentle, be gentle”? Do you ever feel good when you know you are not alone in your heart?

 

My journey through the Bible this morning was much of the same. I came across verses, as I did my morning Lent readings, and each time I felt God speaking to me. This is why I love God’s Word because the pages aren’t just filled with words. This tattered book I carry around with me, and try to pick up every morning, has become His voice in my heart. Now, I don’t get these warm fuzzy feelings every time but when I do it’s pretty neat stuff and I reminded once again of God’s beauty and His grace and love. I am reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love Him!

 

So, I finish this up with a few more versus from today.

 

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2)

 

“Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live.” (Psalm 43:3)

 

“For the sin of this one man, Adam, causes death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ,” (Romans 5:17)

 

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

I want to Live a Verb

“I love you, Lord; you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.” (Psalm 18:1-2a)

 

I am a nerd. Actually, I am the nerd of my entire family. Being a nerd I like schedules, budgets, numbers, and routines. However, I don’t do so well with commands and rules because I am also defiant and a little mischievous (go figure). For example: I like to wake up in the morning to pray and read my Bible. I don’t read my Bible and pray because God commands it though. I do those things because I love the Lord and I want to know Him better. I love going to service on Sundays. I don’t go because it’s the law but I go because it’s incredible to worship the God of the universe and be surrounded by so many people who are in love with Him as well. I enjoy teaching and serving on Wednesday nights but it’s not because Jesus requires acts of service. I go in to my classroom on Wednesdays because I want to encourage a great group of awesome kids to be excited and in love with Jesus.

 

I want to live the verb of being in love with Jesus. I want my faith to be moving and living. I never want to sit down for a second.

 

+        I want to reach out into the community

+        I want to love the people in my life unconditionally

+        I want to give and then give some more

+        I want to trust and know that I am free

+        I want to be a good wife, mother, daughter, and friend

+        I want to live running and basking and all these things with God in the center of me because I love my Lord….because I love Jesus.

 

I want to bring God with me everywhere I go. Sometimes I leave Him here in this seat after I get done with devotions and for that I feel terrible. He doesn’t want just my mornings. Our Lord wants our everything and I want to give it to Him. I have let go of me and let God in and some days that is hard.  Walk with me, please, as I endure this challenge not because of some rule or ritual but because of  love and devotion to our Father.

 

“Praise the Lord! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him.” (Revelations 19:6a-7a)

So Frustrated

“I lift you high in praise, my God, O my King! And I will bless your name into eternity.” (Psalm 145:1 Message)

 

This was not the way I wanted to start my morning. We have been scolding our oldest son. It’s hard for me because I feel sorry for his self-inflicted problem he is in but it is so hard to go over the same things over and over again and feel like his anger is preventing him from really hearing anything we have to say.

 

I wonder how often God feels that way. Many of our life circumstances, good or bad, are a result of our own choices. He tells us, He shows us, He gives us grace over and over and over again and here we are…still in the same rut. Even the things I know I need to change about me and my lifestyles are so extremely hard to change but I know everything I need to know and I make my mistakes anyway. Why is that?

 

We need to trust God enough to make the right decisions. We need to follow His ways. Have you ever noticed that we say God has a perfect plan but we don’t want to do it His way? And then, when you realize you were going the wrong direction and feel the peace of following that narrow path, you may steel veer off into a different direction because it looked pretty good? How can I raise a child when I am such a wreck some days? What has God given me that I am not using to push through these obstacles? All the answers are right there.

 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 The Message)*

*thanks Suzanne!

I got that…maybe not

“Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do.” (1 Peter 4:4)

 

There were many passages I read this morning that really caused me to pause and ask: Do I get it? How is it that 2,000 years ago that people were going through the same things as we do today. I haven’t had any issues with former friends the way others I know have but there are other things that I can relate to and, yet still, other things I wish I felt I understood better.

 

Like 1 Peter 4:12 “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at that fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange is happening to you.” I got that. Our salvation does not keep us from life’s trials and we can use them to become stronger for God. I will honestly say I don’t like the trials and since I seem to go through the same trial over and over again I feel as though I am either not learning what He is trying to show me or that He is building me up for something.

 

2 Peter 2:19b “For you are a slave to whatever controls you.” This one sucks. There is no one person I feel that controls me. However, there are times when I feel out of control and I can’t seem to turn on my self-control button. The Bible says the Spirit gives us self-control, I just haven’t done a very good job of figuring out where it is. Consequently, there are days when I feel like I am a slave to my lack of self-control when I would much rather feel like a slave to God, whom I gladly serve.

 

1 John 1:9 “but if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” If we confess all our sins but forget one, I mean honestly forget, are we not truly forgiven. Once we accept Jesus into our hearts and are saved does that mean past, present, and future sins are forgiven by default? What if you die before you have a chance to confess a sin? Does it make a difference if that sin was by ‘accident” or if it was deliberate?

 

I imagine many of my questions, and some days there are more than others, won’t be answered while I breathe on this earth. Sometimes there are probably only questions that can be answered by God Himself, or questions we will most definitely see on the other side of Heaven. I am okay with not knowing all the answers though. Having a direct answer to any of my questions does not help decide if I have faith or not. I am pretty sure I had even more questions the day I stepped over that line into faith and belief. This morning I am just glad that God took the time to make sure His Word spoke to me, right where I am, this very moment in time, telling me He knows and He loves. Those are the only answers I really need.

 

“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

A Walk in the Rain

“When the king smiles, there is life; his favor refreshes like a spring rain.” (Proverbs 15:16)

 

Once upon a time there were two crazy ladies who were so bent on walking in the morning that, not only would they just show up at each other’s houses at five in the morning, but they would also walk in the rain. Okay, it’s not a fairy tale. This is the story of my life!

 

We knew we were exercising this morning but we had our locations mixed up and we waited for each other. When she didn’t show up, and I had left my cell phone at home, I decided to head back home. When I got home I gave her a buzz. She was already in my driveway because she had been waiting for me and when I didn’t show up she decided to find me. We decided to walk from my house down to the lake. At first, we were very thankful that we definitely got one more morning walk in before the possibility of snow turns into reality. Then it started to rain. It was a light rain but by the time we were done it had gotten heavy and we were soaked.

 

In all actuality it was a wonderful walk. We didn’t walk as long as we normally do but we sure did laugh a lot. There were a couple of times we, on different occasions, almost slipped in the mud. I can recall with excellent clarity the moment I stepped into a hidden puddle and my one shoe and sock were instantly soaked. By the end of the walk it was hard to see as the rain was irritating our eyes. We drew up a few metaphors and funny thoughts as we went along.

 

1.      We, of course, sang “Singing in the Rain” for a little bit

2.      We thought of what it might be like for people who live in a jungle (which was weird because we were both thinking about it at the same time.)

3.      We thought of the times it feels like we are walking in the rain in our lives.

 

The third thought, walking in the rain, was the most profound for me. As the rain kept coming down and getting harder I kept thinking about how sometimes one hard thing comes our way and we think it can’t get any worse or any harder but yet it does. That is what this rain was like. At first, it was a light dusting and by the end I could feel the drops dripping down my head and soaking through my clothes. By the end, when we were having trouble seeing, I thought of how in our own lives we sometimes have to simply put one foot in front of the other and trust that God will get us to where we need to go.

 

I wouldn’t have changed this morning for anything. I got to spend time with God, my friend, and taking care of my body. It’s times when the normal routines are changed that we can draw new ideas and appreciate the life we have more. I know I could maybe survive for 5 minutes in the jungle rains and that I have really good balance at five in the morning because I saved myself from many slippery mud messes. I, also, know that I walked through rain this morning and my friend walked with the entire way. We laughed at each other, complained to each other, and pushed each other to keep going.

 

Stay connected to people and don’t shy away from a little rain. God will be with your and reveal Himself to you through the people and trials in your life. Look up at the sky and thank God for everything in your life. Let the blessings pour down on you and soak through the layers you have put around yourself until you are sure that Jesus is right there to guide you Home.

 

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Safe Haven

“Jesus replied, ‘Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?’ Then he said, ‘Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.’” (Luke 12:14-15)

 

I spent much of last night tossing and turning. I was having a hard time sleeping and so I had a lot of time on my hands to think of the news, economy, up-coming elections, and anything else that came across my brain. However, the big thing on my mind has been the Nebraska Safe Haven Law. The law went into affect in July of this year (2008) and already 23 kids have been abandoned. Of these 23, at least four were teenagers…almost adults.

 

I actually can appreciate a law that protects children so well. I find it equally sad that such a law is needed but if it ends babies being found in trash cans or behind broken down buildings I think we are making progress. It’s the older ‘child’ that I am most sad for today. How does it feel to be 17 and dropped off and abandoned? Weren’t there any other options? Weren’t there family or friends that could have helped? What was the situation at home that his or her parents was protection them from?  Was it financial? Was it homelessness? Did it have anything to do with drugs or abuse? And, then, what happens to this teenager? What is the future like? Is it brighter? Is it safer? My heart pounds as I try to wrap this around my brain.

 

Then, as I have done so often lately, I am able to put my own life in perspective. We may not have a lot “extra” assets lying around but our bills are getting paid and we have food on the table, which is enough for me to feel as I am doing everything I need to do for my children and more. There may be things I want to do or I want the kids to do but it may not be in the cards today. However, our family is healthy, we laugh together, we fight together, we say our prayers together, we are part of a beautiful family of faith, and we are full of hope.  What kind of hope did these parents have that they gave up their kids? What kind of future is in store for someone who knows they were abandoned? What aren’t we doing, and what can we do, to reach out the community and help those who need it so that they don’t have to give up their kids?  

 

We are so blessed beyond measure, now is the time, and economic outlook, for us to reach way down within ourselves and see if we are giving, serving, and loving as much as we can to make this world a better place and to build up the Kingdom for Jesus.

 

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his might power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

What to Write

“The man looked around, ‘Yes’, he said, ‘I see people, but I can’t see them clearly. They look like trees waling around.’” (Mark 8:24)

 

I wasn’t sure what to write about this morning. Do I write about how I slept in the basement and when I woke up it was to strange noises, and I thought my husband wasn’t home, I was so scared only to find out it was him making the noises? Or do I write about how I almost fell asleep while I was praying so I wrapped up my prayers really fast and started to read, out loud, so that I could still have at least some time with God this morning? Even now, I sit here feeling like there is some kind of tired haze over my brain as I try to sort out this first part of my morning and plan the rest of my day.

 

In Mark 8 Jesus restores sight to a blind man (vs 22-25) by spitting on the man’s eyes. At first, I think GROSS. Then, I wonder if it would be easier to walk faith everyday if Jesus were to just spit on me! Think about it. If you were brought to some strange guy and he spit on you and you were healed, would it really be that hard to try to follow him everywhere he went?  Then, I have mornings like today when I feel so foggy (or froggy as my youngest would say) and I kind of want Him to spit on me and clear me all up.

 

Jesus may not be dropping spit balls from Heaven on us but that doesn’t mean He hasn’t left us plenty of opportunities to be cleared of our fog and to see clearly. We can talk with Him, walk with Him through reading the Bible and worship, and be held by Him when pain and suffering hit us like a boulder. The road we are on is not easy but we know that final outcome and we have been given glimpses of eternity. Since eternity, understanding, and joy are my future I can handle the times when I feel a little off in my present.

 

“’For everyone will be tested with fire. Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.’” (Mark 9: 49-50)

TGIF

 “When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars you set in place—what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?” (Psalm 8:3-4)

TGIF! After a giggle at myself, and a pat on the back for early morning creativity, I start this morning with a faint smile on my face. Not only I am so very happy it’s Friday but I am so very thankful that God loves us the way He does and repeatedly forgives us for our sins. Thank God I‘m Forgiven! I do not believe I have every seen that phrase before, but I promise not to copyright it in case someone else has. I also ask for forgiveness for using it if it is already copyrighted.

 

Anyway, truly, I thank God I’m forgiven! Thank God you are forgiven! Can you imagine living in a world where there wasn’t this divine forgiveness? The world could seem hopeless without forgiveness and grace. Imagine trying to live your life so perfectly and then you make a mistake….how painful would that be without the hope imbedded in forgiveness. Or, let’s say you have done awful things and committed terrible crimes and one day you see all that you have done….but there is no forgiveness for you, no hope! We should be able to look at our lives this glorious day and thank God that we do live in a world of hope, forgiveness, and grace. We can make our lives about loving others and accepting the love the Lord has for each of us! That is the world I live in and that is the world I pray that you join me in. If you are struggling to meet with God maybe you will find him somewhere in the places of your life that need forgiveness and grace but, where ever you truly look I promise He will be there!

 

“Brothers [and sisters] listen! We are here to proclaim that through this man Jesus there is forgiveness for your sins. Everyone who believes in him is declared right with God—something the law of Moses could never do.” (Acts 13:38)

He Can Be Just Like Me

“She must be well respected by everyone because of the good she has done. Has she brought up her children well? Has she been kind to strangers and served other believers humbly? Has she helped those who are in trouble? Has she always been ready to do good?” (1 Timothy 5:10)

 

I am experiencing a slight occurrence of attention deficit this morning. I had thought of something to write about as I lay in bed this morning waiting for the alarm to go off. By the time I got downstairs the thought had totally eluded me. As I was reading Ezekiel a little while ago I came across an amazing verse that I thought would make a great story but I put down my Bible, walked my cold feet to the hot coffee and my writing subject plagued me every step of the way: a 12 year old young man.

 

So far this morning, in a matter of approximately 5-10 minutes we have talked about homework, hot lunch, cleaning the house, graded school work, movies, dinner, tomorrow’s breakfast, hygiene, and Saturday night. Any of my closest friends will know that covering that much subject matter in a small space of time is of little challenge to me. It’s no wonder that my son and I can pace each other so well and at such an early hour in the morning. We are extremely similar to one another and sometimes that is good and sometimes it makes me cringe.

 

Sometimes my 12 year old will say something or do something that gives me flashbacks to when I was younger and I was not a very good little girl. I was spoiled, did what ever I wanted no matter whom it may hurt, and I thought the world revolved around me. So, when I see the similarities I get a little scared. However, this young man has something that I didn’t have: faith.

 

If you were to ask Him the way to Heaven, he would tell you: only through Jesus. If you were to ask him if liked church he would look at you funny and say, “yeah, why” (like you were an idiot).  If there is an occasion that he may miss youth group there is a panicked look on his face and he bravely fights back tears. Through Greg and I, our friends, our immediate family, our family of faith, great leaders, strong youth programs, and a lot of prayers has been given a strong foundation that will hopefully guide him on his journey through life.

 

Yes, my son is just like me. My parents remind me often of that fact. But I can honestly say, with my big-grown-up voice, that it’s okay. We enjoy each other a lot, we understand each other, and we can read each other pretty well. Even when my son makes his mistakes in life I will continue to love him and pray for him. At the end of a bad day, when my son reaches out for my hand and asks if I want him to pray with me, I can still smile and thank God for sending him to me because I am pretty sure that when a little seven pound 1/2 ounce baby boy was given to me the rest of my life was changed forever. (oh, and he was born at 4:42 am….maybe we are just morning people)

 

“I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.  For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.  May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)