Silence is Golden

“A time to hear and a time to mend.  A time to be quiet and a time to speak.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

 For a time I thought I have been experiencing a complete and total burnout.  I thought I was tired from long hours of homework, car pools, house cleaning (or lack there of), driving back and forth to wherever the kids need to be, and training at work which involved many long hours of staring at documents and spreadsheets and trying to remember what each one says. School is over, car pool is over, the kids are home more to help around the house, but now I have joined the planning team for VBS at church and that is keeping me very busy.  I have missed writing every morning but I haven’t been getting up in time to do it. I have felt lonely and like something was missing.

 This week I realized that nothing was missing.  Two things occurred to me at the same time.  First, I promised myself I wouldn’t write just to write and, honestly, I haven’t felt like saying anything lately. Second, nothing at all has been missing.  My plate is most definitely full and it’s full of really great stuff.  My daughter is in an amazing musical that has been eating up my weekends but I love being down at the theater and to be able to share this with her has been a blessing for me.  I love my job and the opportunities that have presented themselves to me.  I feel slightly overwhelmed but I know I am where I need to be and it’s going to be all good.  Finally, I am excited to be a part of VBS this year.  It’s crazy, stressful, and a blessing.  I am anxious to see the kids and the leaders walk through those doors Sunday night.  So, nothing has been missing.  God just helped me lighten my load a bit so that I could find balance.

 My relationship with Jesus may have changed a bit in the last couple of months.  I guess if I were to try to explain it I would say that up until May I was sitting down and having coffee with Him as we talked about life (thank you Sally).  Now, I feel like we aren’t talking to each other as much as we are building something great together.  He has never left my side and its okay that someone isn’t always talking in any relationship.  Silence is golden, or maybe silence is me going nuts from mixing too many things together.  So, if things seem crazy or you feel kind of off take a step back and try to see the bigger picture.  I am sure that you are in the midst of an opportunity and you will enjoy it more if you see it now than if you have to constantly look back on it later.

 “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it give us assurance about the things we cannot see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

A Big Plan

“But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.  And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”  (Matthew 10: 29b-31)

 I have been able to do a lot of reading lately.  The kids and I have been taking trips to the library and I am bringing home 6-8 books a week.  Saturday I read a book that I really felt reached in and touched my soul.  Have you ever had that happen?  I mean I read books I love, read books I can’t get enough of, and read books that I can relate to but this could book could have been about me and could have described my life before Jesus…and after (kinda). 

There is something about walking around feeling worthless and dirty.  There is something about wanting a prince charming to come and rescue you but after reading dirty romance novels you have an unrealistic idea of love and passion.  It wasn’t until Jesus met me where I was that I knew I was worth something.  And it wasn’t until Jesus cleaned away the dirt that I mucked up in my life that I knew what real love was.  It was then that I could truly love my husband and my children.  It was then that I slowly begun to learn about grace, forgiveness, and understanding.

God has a big plan for everyone.  Even in this economic and political turmoil God is here. He is there is your smallest and your biggest celebrations and struggles.  Jesus is there on the left and right.  God is sitting with you in the pew on Sunday morning and at your desk when you go to work Monday morning.  God is with you when you have to have those tough discussions with your kids and He is there when your kids make the right or the wrong decision without you looking over their shoulder.  God’s plan is perfect.  No matter what we decide to do His plan will work.  If anyone could screw up a good plan it’s me (ask the hubby) but God didn’t let me stay in that dark place.  He brought me out and now I can live in the light! 

“For I know the plans” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

Play Ball

“I called out to you so often, but you wouldn’t come.  I reached out to you, but you paid no attention.  You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered.” (Proverbs 1:24-25)

 The first few innings of last night’s softball game didn’t start out so great.  This was our first game in two weeks and our third time playing together.  Our team is made up of people who really don’t know each other.  We were grateful the first game because we came together quite nicely, last night we were off.  I really shouldn’t judge.  I play as little as possible (I am subbing and only as I favor, I didn’t want to play this year), so I feel bad when I cringe at the errors made on the field but something had to give.  

During the top of the fifth inning I looked at the other player in the dugout and suggested that we move some people around.  He agreed and we quickly decided who would move where.  Luckily, everyone on our team is pretty easy going and they each are willing to play where ever they are needed.  A couple of swaps of positions and we saw an immediate difference.  Before they were able to get almost ten runs, after the change they only got a couple more.  We did lose the game but we lost pleased with ourselves for knowing when to make changes and listening to the team in an encouraging way to perform as best as we could. 

 There are so many times when it feels like I am doing the same thing over and over again.  Everything becomes routine, regardless if it working or not.  There are other times when new ideas are presented that I just want to shut them down because there is no way that they would ever work.  I cannot count the number of times I should have changed or the limitless number of times an idea I thought was crazy turned out to be extremely successful.  I need to remember that I am not walking alone and I need to listen to God and be more open-minded to the people in my life.  I want to be humble and moldable.  Sometimes I feel hard and flaky.  Listen.  Listen for God and listen to the things going around you.  You may be surprised at what is waiting for you on the other side and you may just experience a better inning in life than you were expecting.

 “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19a)

God Moments

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

Have I told you about the church’s Parable Project? Just in case I haven’t Oakwood is the midst of a crazy mission where someone gave the church $5000 to be handed out to 50 people. Everyone who stepped up got $100 and it was up to them to grow that money. We have people making lotions, raising money for a young lady in the hospital, making dolls for kids who are sick, teaming up with Habitat for Humanity, doing can drives in schools, starting new college scholarships, and so much more. This has been an extremely exciting time in our family of faith. Gabrielle and I went up for this mystery assignment. I had no idea what we were going to do until I saw a homeless guy on a bike by my work and I knew: bikes. Our small part of this huge Parable Project was going to have something to do with bikes.

 

Greg and I, mostly Greg, have begun the process of reconditioning and fixing up three bikes. I had no idea who to give these bikes too but I know there are a lot of people who are trying to get back to work, have no transportation, or just need a break but where do I start? We take the bikes to Rasmussen’s in Altoona when we need more extreme care done. We went there a couple weeks ago to pick up a tire and a bike that had been worked on. Part of this bike idea is that I would really love to host a Parable Bike Ride/Walk. I have never tried to set up a huge ride before so I asked the clerk how to do it. We kind of explained what we were trying to do. The guy working the counter happens to work for the Iowa Workforce Development and knew of at least one person who could really use a bike and thought that several others would probably be candidates as well. I am very excited!

 

God is so good. He came down and met me exactly where I was. I knew that bikes were our focus but I didn’t know how to get from point A to point B and who to give them too. Now, we are going to try to work with Iowa Workforce Development and figure out what the process of giving them the bikes would be so they could give them to the people who need them. I am still floundering about the bike ride but we’ll get there. I was reminded, in the most simple way, that I do not need to come up with all the answers and not every solution can be found in Google®. God will guide me and show me the way!

 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Roman 8:28)

Journeys

“I know, Lord, that our lives our not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So, correct me, Lord, but please be gentle.” (Jeremiah 10:23-24)

 

I read that today and I almost started to giggle, even though I know it’s not funny. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times I have prayed that exact prayer! Even reading it over and over again I can see it in my mind. How many times have I sat in this exact spot and let God know that I know He is in control? How many times have I confessed my sins but then, in the back of my mind, I am chanting “be gentle, be gentle, be gentle”? Do you ever feel good when you know you are not alone in your heart?

 

My journey through the Bible this morning was much of the same. I came across verses, as I did my morning Lent readings, and each time I felt God speaking to me. This is why I love God’s Word because the pages aren’t just filled with words. This tattered book I carry around with me, and try to pick up every morning, has become His voice in my heart. Now, I don’t get these warm fuzzy feelings every time but when I do it’s pretty neat stuff and I reminded once again of God’s beauty and His grace and love. I am reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love Him!

 

So, I finish this up with a few more versus from today.

 

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2)

 

“Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live.” (Psalm 43:3)

 

“For the sin of this one man, Adam, causes death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ,” (Romans 5:17)

 

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

Awesome Kids

“This is the message of Good News for the people of Israel—that there is peace with God

through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all.” (Acts 10:36)

 

I get to work with some amazing 5^th and 6^th graders on Wednesday nights. Towards the beginning of the year I realized how much this group enjoyed doing skits and plays for the smaller kids, which we did plenty of during the church’s small groups campaign. When we hit the scheduled curriculum again around Christmastime it was apparent that they wanted to do more skits. So, after Christmas season was over we decided we were going to write our own play and base it on the story of Stephen, the first martyr out of the book of Acts. We have been having a great time and I have to wonder if the kids realize how well they are going to know this story as they grow up.

 

First, we studied the passages. You can’t write about something until you know it, right? We spent weeks studying and learning because in this one small passage there is simply a ton of information to digest. Finally, after that was all done, we had to write. I was particularly nervous about the writing part because I wasn’t sure how to write a skit as a group. Our first writing night was amazing. We laughed, we shouted out ideas, I got everyone to participate, and we got more done than I had thought possible in one evening. One of the girls told me she wasn’t sure how this was all going to work when we started the class but she was happy with what we got done! These kids are taking ownership in this fun little project and I am learning through them.

 

I do wonder if this class realizes that they are branding these stories on their hearts. I know they realize as they get deeper into the skit that they will be teaching others this story so they are very adamant that it is done correctly. The class lets me jump up and down and make a fool out of myself as we go through this process and I can truly feel them learning and enjoying their time in God’s Word. I couldn’t ask for a better time as a teacher and leader. I can’t wait to see this event on a stage and I pray that God is working a wonder in the children’s hearts that will last a lifetime.

 

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Psalm 51

Sometimes the strangest things or methods can work something in my heart. Today, I wasn’t sure what to read so I read Psalm 51. I knew what it was going to say before I read it. I am still struggling and the more I struggle the more I realize the walls in my life I need to tear down, so I guess it’s a good thing even if it is not very much fun. So, today I will share Pslam 51. If you know that you have already read it and think you could stop your devotion right here….you probably need it more than someone else. Just a thought. I could be wrong. However, I read it twice this morning, stopping at certain points longer than others, and then typing it made me want the author’s words to be mine….so there is something therapeutic about the whole thing. I pray, that if you need them, that God uses His word in this particular Psalm to work a wonder in you today.

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God,

                because of your unfailing love.

Because of your great compassion,

                Blot out the stain of my sins.

Wash me clean from my guilt

                Purify me from my sin.

For I recognize my rebellion;

                It haunts me day and night.

Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;

                I have done what is evil in your sight.

You will proved right in what you say,

                And your judgment  against me is just.

For I was born a sinner—

                Yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.

But you desire honesty from the womb,

                teaching me wisdom even there.

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;

                Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Oh, give me back my joy again;

                you have broken me—

                now let me rejoice.

Don’t keep looking at my sins.

                Remove the stain of my guilt.

Create in me a clean heart, O God.

                Renew a loyal spirit within me.

Do not banish me from your presence,

                and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore me to the joy of your salvation,

                and make me willing to obey you.

Then I will teach your ways to the rebels,

                and they will return to you.

Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;

                Then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.

Unseal my lips, O Lord,

                that my mouth may praise you.

You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.

                You do not want a burnt offering.

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.

                You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O god.

Look with favor in Zion and help her;

                Rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—

                with burn offerings and whole burnt offerings.

                Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

Despite Everything

 

“Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew human nature. No one needed to tell him what mankind was really like.” (John 2:23-24)

 

I don’t remember ever reading this verse, although I am sure I have over the years. Maybe it just pops out now as I am working so hard to reconcile myself with God. God really knows what mankind is like. God really knows what I am like. If I truly believe that God is all things all the time then there is nothing about me that He doesn’t know. Like David, there is no hiding, which is probably why I can grow so resentful to confessing sometimes because it’s all stuff He already knows. In fact, He knows more about me than I do! But then I feel humbled, I feel my pride and arrogance flake off of me, and I know that Jesus, my Savior, is still with me despite all that I am.

 

His perfect love surrounds me and I can find peace.

 

I can feel him changing me.

 

Jesus gives me hope.

 

Our Lord challenges me to move beyond what I think is possible.

 

He does all this with the sinner that I am.

 

Please don’t ever leave me Jesus!

 

“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and then Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28: 19-20)

Ready to Rest

“There is a special rest still waiting for the people of God.” (Hebrews 4:9)

 

A friend from California asked me about this cold weather we have getting in Iowa. Coincidentally, my husband and I were talking this morning about how it was only four degrees out but we are so used to the cold that it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. And even more weird, since the weather has been so bitter, is that all I have wanted to do is go for a bike ride. As we drive by the trails daily I look to see if they have been cleared. On the warmer days (25 degrees or more) I stare out the window at the mess on the roads and know I would still just slip and slide. I am restless.

 

In about two weeks there is a ride in the country called BRR (Bike Ride to Ripey). I have only done it once and it was brutally cold and long. I am all ready for it this year though. I have face masks to block the wind and “Hotties” for my hands and feet (thank you Sally). I haven’t been able to bike this winter but I have been working out so my only fears are the wind and the temperature. I am determined to do something and get out to somewhere.  Between juggling family, sports, work, kid’s schoolwork and my own homework I feel a stirring in me to do something crazy. Right now, the craziest thing I can think of, that I have time for, is a bike ride in this arctic winter we have been experiencing.

 

With the busyness of life pounding down on us some people may think that I just need to rest or take a nap. But I have found rest comes in many different forms. Some days relaxing means reading a book or taking a nap. Other days rest is defined by taking the kids for a hike around the lake or going for a long bike ride. I have learned that rest is really whatever brings you peace and whatever refreshes you. Rest could be a mission trip that brings a smile to a child’s face or helping a friend through a tough time. Relaxing could be playing board games with friend and/or family or sitting on a beach watching the sun set. Refreshment could come from a cool swim on a hot day or from volunteering to clean up neighborhoods in the inner-city. In the craziness of life I think we may all be surprised of what will bring us relief from the chaos. It’s often not what we don’t do but what we do.

 

“In His grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.” (Romans 12:6-8)

Sneaking In

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

 

I take E. University to get to work everyday. I always stay in the right lane so that I have a straight line to get onto I235. Every single morning, as traffic builds, there are always a handful of people who don’t get in the right hand land at the earliest opportunity and, instead, wait and try to cut into the right lane so they can get onto I235. If that is you, I am sorry, but I am going to write about you today! This may seem rude but I get pretty upset when those “late lane changers” try to cut in front of me, or anyone, because it slows down traffic and it shows that they weren’t patient enough to get in line with the rest of us and I also feel it shows how important they must think they are that they get to cheat their way onto the ramp.

 

So, the other day I was a dork in my car cheering. I got through the last set of lights before the ramp and traffic was pretty heavy. A car on my left was trying to squeeze in and there wasn’t room in front of me or behind me. Well, this car missed the ramp and had to keep on driving. I felt vindicated and I hope that that person will get in line sooner next time instead of trying to sneak in there at the last minute.

 

There are always those people around us who tend to sneak and cheat their way to the same place you have worked so hard to get to and it is frustrating. But we can take heart in knowing that we may have chosen a harder path but the rewards will be so much more than anything we can imagine as long as we stick with it. As you make your choices everyday remember to always make sure God is there in the choice you make. Stay on the right road and He will bring you Home safely.

 

“I’ll say it again—it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” (Matthew 19:24)