What It Says

“The Redeemer will come to Jerusalem to buy back those in Israel who have turned from their sins,” says the Lord.  (Isaiah 59-20)

 I found this verse very interesting.  It doesn’t say someone is going to come and heal everyone of His children.  The verse doesn’t say that God is going to swoop in and be the Daddy Worbucks of the world and grant every material wish it may have.  And Isaiah isn’t saying that the Redeemer is going to tap dance His way into our hearts with sales slogans or begging.  “The Redeemer will come….to buy back….those…who have turned from their sins.”

 Jesus came to earth as man for one reason and one reason alone:  to be the perfect Lamb.  He showed us the way and then paved the road for us with His own blood.  Now, when you confess your heart to God and accept Jesus as your Redeemer you are promised an eternity with Him.  All the blessings that fall on you, all the trials that make you stronger, the people who come into your life to make it richer, and looking in a child’s eyes—your child’s eyes—is all icing on an already perfect cake.  The Savior came for you, to buy you and bring you to the Lord, and your eternity has already begun.

 “And the people will come from all over the world—from east and west, north and south—to take their places in the Kingdom of God.  And note this:  Some who seem least important now will be the greatest then, and some who are the greatest now will be the least important then.” (Luke 13:29-30)

Silence is Golden

“A time to hear and a time to mend.  A time to be quiet and a time to speak.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

 For a time I thought I have been experiencing a complete and total burnout.  I thought I was tired from long hours of homework, car pools, house cleaning (or lack there of), driving back and forth to wherever the kids need to be, and training at work which involved many long hours of staring at documents and spreadsheets and trying to remember what each one says. School is over, car pool is over, the kids are home more to help around the house, but now I have joined the planning team for VBS at church and that is keeping me very busy.  I have missed writing every morning but I haven’t been getting up in time to do it. I have felt lonely and like something was missing.

 This week I realized that nothing was missing.  Two things occurred to me at the same time.  First, I promised myself I wouldn’t write just to write and, honestly, I haven’t felt like saying anything lately. Second, nothing at all has been missing.  My plate is most definitely full and it’s full of really great stuff.  My daughter is in an amazing musical that has been eating up my weekends but I love being down at the theater and to be able to share this with her has been a blessing for me.  I love my job and the opportunities that have presented themselves to me.  I feel slightly overwhelmed but I know I am where I need to be and it’s going to be all good.  Finally, I am excited to be a part of VBS this year.  It’s crazy, stressful, and a blessing.  I am anxious to see the kids and the leaders walk through those doors Sunday night.  So, nothing has been missing.  God just helped me lighten my load a bit so that I could find balance.

 My relationship with Jesus may have changed a bit in the last couple of months.  I guess if I were to try to explain it I would say that up until May I was sitting down and having coffee with Him as we talked about life (thank you Sally).  Now, I feel like we aren’t talking to each other as much as we are building something great together.  He has never left my side and its okay that someone isn’t always talking in any relationship.  Silence is golden, or maybe silence is me going nuts from mixing too many things together.  So, if things seem crazy or you feel kind of off take a step back and try to see the bigger picture.  I am sure that you are in the midst of an opportunity and you will enjoy it more if you see it now than if you have to constantly look back on it later.

 “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it give us assurance about the things we cannot see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

A Big Plan

“But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.  And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”  (Matthew 10: 29b-31)

 I have been able to do a lot of reading lately.  The kids and I have been taking trips to the library and I am bringing home 6-8 books a week.  Saturday I read a book that I really felt reached in and touched my soul.  Have you ever had that happen?  I mean I read books I love, read books I can’t get enough of, and read books that I can relate to but this could book could have been about me and could have described my life before Jesus…and after (kinda). 

There is something about walking around feeling worthless and dirty.  There is something about wanting a prince charming to come and rescue you but after reading dirty romance novels you have an unrealistic idea of love and passion.  It wasn’t until Jesus met me where I was that I knew I was worth something.  And it wasn’t until Jesus cleaned away the dirt that I mucked up in my life that I knew what real love was.  It was then that I could truly love my husband and my children.  It was then that I slowly begun to learn about grace, forgiveness, and understanding.

God has a big plan for everyone.  Even in this economic and political turmoil God is here. He is there is your smallest and your biggest celebrations and struggles.  Jesus is there on the left and right.  God is sitting with you in the pew on Sunday morning and at your desk when you go to work Monday morning.  God is with you when you have to have those tough discussions with your kids and He is there when your kids make the right or the wrong decision without you looking over their shoulder.  God’s plan is perfect.  No matter what we decide to do His plan will work.  If anyone could screw up a good plan it’s me (ask the hubby) but God didn’t let me stay in that dark place.  He brought me out and now I can live in the light! 

“For I know the plans” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

Off Schedule

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

 

I believe my need for schedules really became apparent during the five-plus years I did daycare.  I averaged 4-5 children at a time all under the age of 4 and then some before and after-school kids as well.  About half-way into this new vocation I started taking classes online, working toward the accounting dream I never wanted to admit I had.  Schedules are huge in my life, which means I have excellent time management skills (toot-toot).  However, there is a definite limit to my superhero abilities. I can’t have too much on my plate, even though I try, and if anything throws me off of schedule I am worthless and cannot function to full capacity.

 

This leads to my recent silence.  The classes I am taking right now are overwhelming hard and extremely time consuming.  Last week I had two big tests to take and simply thinking about how hard the tests were going to be stressed me.  On top of that our daughter got a part in the next children’s musical and the parent’s meeting and rehearsals started last week.  And, to make my life ever-more so complicated I discovered that in a fight between a partially opened can and my hand I will always loose, so my right hand was slightly out of commission as well.  I balance my life precariously on a very fined tuned schedule and last week I was off of schedule and, as previously noted, when that happens I tend to not be able to do anything. I got the basics down: kids fed and dressed and I went to work everyday if anything got done above that it was an act of God and I was very thankful to have Him in my life.

 

I know God has a schedule.  I don’t understand it and I don’t think I have followed it very well in the past.  Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has good plans for our future.  I wonder, if when we take our destiny into our own hands, if we throw that schedule off.   I have been thinking that maybe God has point A and point B picked out, knowing we’ll get to point B eventually, but how we get there is up to us?  I know with every bone in my body that God made me an accountant and I love it.  I didn’t get to college right after high school.  In fact, I just kept making babies!  But even though I may have thrown my schedule off I am still arriving at point B.  Even though last week was a sticky walk in the mud for me I still made it through and everyone around me survived as well.  So, when you feel like you have continually messed up the big picture remember God will always show you a way to point B.  We just need to put things in perspective, which means putting our trust in God, and holding onto the hope and promise that God knows what He is doing even when we don’t.

 

“So be careful how you live.  Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” (Ephesians 5:15-17)

God Moments

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

Have I told you about the church’s Parable Project? Just in case I haven’t Oakwood is the midst of a crazy mission where someone gave the church $5000 to be handed out to 50 people. Everyone who stepped up got $100 and it was up to them to grow that money. We have people making lotions, raising money for a young lady in the hospital, making dolls for kids who are sick, teaming up with Habitat for Humanity, doing can drives in schools, starting new college scholarships, and so much more. This has been an extremely exciting time in our family of faith. Gabrielle and I went up for this mystery assignment. I had no idea what we were going to do until I saw a homeless guy on a bike by my work and I knew: bikes. Our small part of this huge Parable Project was going to have something to do with bikes.

 

Greg and I, mostly Greg, have begun the process of reconditioning and fixing up three bikes. I had no idea who to give these bikes too but I know there are a lot of people who are trying to get back to work, have no transportation, or just need a break but where do I start? We take the bikes to Rasmussen’s in Altoona when we need more extreme care done. We went there a couple weeks ago to pick up a tire and a bike that had been worked on. Part of this bike idea is that I would really love to host a Parable Bike Ride/Walk. I have never tried to set up a huge ride before so I asked the clerk how to do it. We kind of explained what we were trying to do. The guy working the counter happens to work for the Iowa Workforce Development and knew of at least one person who could really use a bike and thought that several others would probably be candidates as well. I am very excited!

 

God is so good. He came down and met me exactly where I was. I knew that bikes were our focus but I didn’t know how to get from point A to point B and who to give them too. Now, we are going to try to work with Iowa Workforce Development and figure out what the process of giving them the bikes would be so they could give them to the people who need them. I am still floundering about the bike ride but we’ll get there. I was reminded, in the most simple way, that I do not need to come up with all the answers and not every solution can be found in Google®. God will guide me and show me the way!

 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Roman 8:28)

Smarts

“Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” (1 Kings 3:9)

 

Disciplining your children is so hard.   Actually, being a parent is tough in a lot of ways. You want your kids to be happy and enjoy being a kid but then you have to balance that out with making sure you give them structure and correction at the same time.  When I woke up this morning the first thought in my head was asking God to help show me the way.  My prayers were swimming in questions of guidance and understanding as a parent. Coincidentally, I also read 1 Kings 3: 1-15. I love it when God lets me know He is there and He is listening.

 

Parenting is interesting. We have done things right and we have done things wrong and as we enter into the their teen years it’s not so much about how much we work to make our kids great, it’s about how hard they work to help make their own lives better.  I feel like we are in gridlock some days.  We are constantly, not in a pushy way, giving our children the tools they need to be independent, responsible, and community oriented adults.  We try really hard to live by example.  They may be successful, they may rebel, or they’ll probably do a really kid mix of the two. That’s just our three children. Imagine being the Parent of all of creation!

 

I woke up this morning begging God for guidance.  He gave it to me.  God knows better than anyone how frustrating it is to raise up children who, at times, make bad decisions and don’t get it no matter how many times it is explained.  I was one of those kids!  And I don’t know what path is laid out before my children but I do pray about it everyday.  Most of what I do is to help the kids and to encourage and build them up.  I love being a mom and I have absolutely amazing children.  The smarts I want my children to embrace in life (hopefully sooner than later) come from the ultimate wisdom of God.  Even as old and used up as you may think the Bible is, everything is found right there:  love and live; get rich quick doesn’t work (Proverbs 22:8), laziness doesn’t pay out well either (Romans 12:11), be smart with your finances (Proverbs 21:20), forgive often (Matthew 6: 14-15), and much MUCH more: respect your parents, parents love your children, husbands and wives love each other and adore each other, give give give!!! It’s all right there.  I just hope I am listening as God helps me help them.

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

A Memory

“This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so hat Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.” (1 Timothy: 15-16)

 

Gosh, I had to be about five or six years old. We lived on the third floor of an apartment building. I loved Easter because we got the most incredible baskets. This one year I was super excited. I remember waking up and looking out the window. The sun was starting to light up the sky but had broken through the horizon yet. My bedroom window looked out over the apartment complex’s playground and tennis court. I swear I saw an incredibly large rabbit thee buildings down. I jumped out of bed to search for my basket. I don’t remember where the basket was but this miniature arcade game (Pac-Man) I had was out and I remember thinking it smelled like candy so the Easter Bunny had to have taken a break to play it. I was amazed that the Bunny smelled so sweet. In fact, I convinced myself that, as I put my nose to the carpet, I could smell each of his footsteps through our apartment. 

 

Fast-forward a few years. When I was 20 I went to Easter service with my husband’s family. I had never been to an Easter service and I don’t recall if I knew at that time that Easter Sunday was a special day for Christians and not because of some bunny. I was so nervous at that service (I thought lightening was going to rain down on me) that I truly can’t remember if I heard the message or not but I really liked the music. The year I remember sticking out is when I was 23. I had just received Jesus as my Lord and I recall being amazed during Easter service that year. I simply hadn’t gotten it before. I got it then. I get it now.

 

Today I try to keep my mind on Jesus all day. I have the music I want selected and I have a Bible at my desk at work. I will get mad when I lose my focus and if I fail at my goals today. I just keep reminding myself that nothing I try to accomplish today to worship God silently will ever compare to what Jesus endured on Calvary so very long ago. And on Sunday, because Sunday will come, I will not be anxiously waiting for a bunny to fill my house with the scent of candy. As I rise this Easter morning I will be reminded that Jesus has risen. He has risen for you and He has risen for me. However, until Sunday comes let us be in prayer and remember, not little memories that fill our personal history, but the amazing suffering one man endured so that the rest of us can live.

 

“Then Jesus shouted out again, and he released his spirit. At that moment the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was born in two, from top to bottom. The earth shook, rocks split apart…(Matthew 27:50-51)

 

You May Not Agree with Me

“You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” (Genesis 4:7-8)

Iowa passed a law allowing same-sex marriage last week. I was not surprised at all. I expected the ruling to go down that way and a part of me is really struggling because I agree with it. Yes, me, the Bible-loving, God fearing, praying, joyful, Christian that I am is very torn because the legal rules, separation of church and state, side of me sees the point. I chose my faith. I chose to follow God and His ways and His design for life, marriage, love, and everything outside and in between. Although I will tell you to get involved in politics, go to meetings, vote as often as you can so that people we want to represent us are in office I do not believe that our Christian disciplines should be forced on anyone.

I know that a homosexual lifestyle is not what I teach my children and it’s not what I want for my children, I can be honest about that. However, I know if one of my children chose that I would still love them and still have them over for dinner. (Why dinner is sticking out in my mind I don’t know.) Then I think of God. He not only loves my gay child but also loves his or her partner, so I would invite that person over for dinner. My children would get a taste of the unconditional love the Father has for us through me even knowing that I don’t approve of their life style. Punishment for sin, and separation from God, is not something I have the right to dish out. And that gay child, believing with all of their heart that Jesus died for his or her sins, has a place in Heaven. There are sins that I struggle with daily that weigh no more than any other sin. The best I believe we can do is strive to live the life that God has planned for us and shine Jesus’ light for the world to see.

The state determining who can be legally united does not diminish the sanctity of marriage. The sanctity of marriage is what WE make of it and how we help other find the beauty in what God originally designed for us. Look at what heterosexual marriages have brought into our society over the last 50 years. When it comes to defending the sanctity of marriage, traditional marriages haven’t done such a great job of being the leaders in good marriages and monogamy in our country today. If we seriously want to make a difference in the world it has to start in our own marriages and then we have to learn to love the way God loves. I cannot stress enough how badly I mess up everyday and every time I go to the cross He forgives me. His example is excellent and perfect. So, you may not agree with me (I am not sure I do) but I just think that God has better ways for us to reach out and in than to verbally or legally attack people whose lifestyles are different than ours and I am sure there is a line there too….

“So the trouble is not with the laws, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good.” (Romans 7:14-16)

Hiding

“Well then, you might say, ‘Why does God blame people for not responding? Haven’t they simply done what he makes them do?’” (Romans 9:19)

 

I love writing. My passion may have been hard to see lately, since my schedule has begun to overwhelm me again, but I do love writing. And I am not sure if it is the writing so much as that I feel obligated to do it. Because of this obligation I feel God is sometimes holding a magnifying glass to my life, somewhat like what salaried church staff may experience without my name being in the bulletin (oh yeah, and without the salary). I appreciate this magnifying glass immensely because not only is God using the jumbled up morning ramblings of a random woman to reach out to people but He has chipped away at the fortress I built around myself and there is very rarely anything in my life that everyone cannot see. You all walk this path with me and I may hesitate but I always end up sharing my struggles and my triumphs, regardless if you want to hear it or not. God is who I am accountable for in all things. Because I am in Him there is no hiding.

 

Sometimes I wish I had God’s knack for knowing everything that goes on in the heart of His children. Although, I will admit that the idea scares me. I believe God knows every miscellaneous thought that has crossed my brain and/or heart, which makes me want to hurl. There are days when I wish I could be with my kids throughout every moment like God is with me. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so scared of what they may encounter. There are other days when I am thankful for their trials because they will hopefully learn and grow from them as I have from mine. Whereas I cannot hide from God, my children (and anyone else for that matter) can hide from me. I pray for the day when my children love God the way that I do and know that there is no reality in hiding from the Creator of the universe.

 

I am thankful that our God is not holding strings and dictating our every move because then I don’t think life would be worth living. I am equally thankful that I feel extremely accountable to God and that He has placed people in my life to pick me up when I fall. Two days ago, if you were to ask me what my biggest fear would be I would have told you that I didn’t have one. Now, I realize that my biggest fear is what my children may choose to hide from me as they grow. I can tell you, I think with all honesty, that I, unlike God, do NOT want to know everything. I will be frank and say that there are somethings I would rather just pretend won’t happen. But I don’t want to be the parent with rose colored glasses who misses everything. I simply pray that as my children live their lives that they look to God, and the people He has placed in their lives, to help pick them up when they fall. I pray they realize there really is no hiding, no matter how well they guard themselves.

 

if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

 

Journeys

“I know, Lord, that our lives our not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So, correct me, Lord, but please be gentle.” (Jeremiah 10:23-24)

 

I read that today and I almost started to giggle, even though I know it’s not funny. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times I have prayed that exact prayer! Even reading it over and over again I can see it in my mind. How many times have I sat in this exact spot and let God know that I know He is in control? How many times have I confessed my sins but then, in the back of my mind, I am chanting “be gentle, be gentle, be gentle”? Do you ever feel good when you know you are not alone in your heart?

 

My journey through the Bible this morning was much of the same. I came across verses, as I did my morning Lent readings, and each time I felt God speaking to me. This is why I love God’s Word because the pages aren’t just filled with words. This tattered book I carry around with me, and try to pick up every morning, has become His voice in my heart. Now, I don’t get these warm fuzzy feelings every time but when I do it’s pretty neat stuff and I reminded once again of God’s beauty and His grace and love. I am reminded of how blessed I am and how much I love Him!

 

So, I finish this up with a few more versus from today.

 

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2)

 

“Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live.” (Psalm 43:3)

 

“For the sin of this one man, Adam, causes death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ,” (Romans 5:17)

 

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)