Silence is Golden

“A time to hear and a time to mend.  A time to be quiet and a time to speak.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

 For a time I thought I have been experiencing a complete and total burnout.  I thought I was tired from long hours of homework, car pools, house cleaning (or lack there of), driving back and forth to wherever the kids need to be, and training at work which involved many long hours of staring at documents and spreadsheets and trying to remember what each one says. School is over, car pool is over, the kids are home more to help around the house, but now I have joined the planning team for VBS at church and that is keeping me very busy.  I have missed writing every morning but I haven’t been getting up in time to do it. I have felt lonely and like something was missing.

 This week I realized that nothing was missing.  Two things occurred to me at the same time.  First, I promised myself I wouldn’t write just to write and, honestly, I haven’t felt like saying anything lately. Second, nothing at all has been missing.  My plate is most definitely full and it’s full of really great stuff.  My daughter is in an amazing musical that has been eating up my weekends but I love being down at the theater and to be able to share this with her has been a blessing for me.  I love my job and the opportunities that have presented themselves to me.  I feel slightly overwhelmed but I know I am where I need to be and it’s going to be all good.  Finally, I am excited to be a part of VBS this year.  It’s crazy, stressful, and a blessing.  I am anxious to see the kids and the leaders walk through those doors Sunday night.  So, nothing has been missing.  God just helped me lighten my load a bit so that I could find balance.

 My relationship with Jesus may have changed a bit in the last couple of months.  I guess if I were to try to explain it I would say that up until May I was sitting down and having coffee with Him as we talked about life (thank you Sally).  Now, I feel like we aren’t talking to each other as much as we are building something great together.  He has never left my side and its okay that someone isn’t always talking in any relationship.  Silence is golden, or maybe silence is me going nuts from mixing too many things together.  So, if things seem crazy or you feel kind of off take a step back and try to see the bigger picture.  I am sure that you are in the midst of an opportunity and you will enjoy it more if you see it now than if you have to constantly look back on it later.

 “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it give us assurance about the things we cannot see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

It’s Neat Being a Girl

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31: 29-30)

 

I used to hate being a girl. I have no sense of fashion and not one ounce of artistic ability when it comes to my hair. I hate to shop for clothes I know I will not like once I bring them home but yet I hate everything in my closet. I should take out stock in razors and wax. I would rather walk around in boxers and flip-flops than skirts and high heels. I truly hate “that little friend” that comes once a month that disturbs my mental stability and emotional control. After breastfeeding, and some extra boxes of cookies, my breasts are not what they were in high school and the bra that would help “elevate” the best costs more than a mortgage payment. I do not like it when my husband brings me flowers and he better not waste the little money we have on jewelry that I will, more than likely, loose. I am not a “Better Homes and Gardens” homemaker but I can cook really well; however,  I don’t usually feel like it. I make the best cookies when no one is looking and I put too much on my schedule and complain about it later. If the kids lose a button I tell them to deal with it, do I look like I can sew? I am not the Proverbs 31 woman. However, over the last couple of years I have found that being a girl isn’t all the bad I have always thought it was.

 

Actually, I have learned to think it’s pretty neat being a girl. Through the women in my life I have learned to love more, trust more, and hope more than I would have ever imagined. Through the ladies that surround me I have prayed, cried, laughed, and complained all in a matter of seconds. I have seen unimaginable beauty and incomparable strength. I have experienced the joy of being a very normal woman and the shock of knowing that I was also made very different and very special.

 

Girls get to talk about chocolate, kids, husbands (no man-bashing please), work, school, car pools, sports, wine, waxing, pedicures, facials, massages, trips, date nights, silly moments, chocolate (yeah, I put in there twice), and so much more. I never would have imagined so much could fit into one person and when we throw a group of us together watch out for laughter, tears, and hysterics. God has made each of us in a way that we can nurture each other and learn from each other all at the same time. We do not try to fix our girlfriends but we have coffee with them as they show us what is broken. We laugh at ourselves and we pray together. We bear Christ’s witness to each other and sometimes we carry each other on that journey.

 

What an amazing thing God made when He made us women! We are strong and soft, fierce and gentle, hard and loving. Throw in some compulsive behaviors, an iPod, a couple chocolates, a facial, pretty toes, and you have what I have become: a girl…and I’ll just trust that God knows what He is doing.  

 

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13-14)

Standing Strong

“If you think you are standing strong be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.  And God is faithful.  He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.  When you are temped, he will show you a way out so that you can endure” (1 Corinthians 10:12-13)

 

I never want to be comfortable in my faith. I never want to feel as if I could find all the answers. I never want to think that I have done all I need to do in my faith and, therefore, I can sit back and wait for the day when Jesus brings me home. I am scared that if I were ever to get to the day when I was comfortable I would loose the joy in my faith and stop growing. A good pastor once said if you’re not growing, you’re dying. The only death I fear is a spiritual one so I will continue to pray and I will continue and read the Bible and I will continue to volunteer because I want to keep growing.

 

The only expected blessing I have is an eternity with Jesus, everything else is icing. There has only been one time when I wanted to shout to God and scream at Him and ask Him why. Many of the trials we go through are almost always self-inflected and if they aren’t self-inflected I can see the way God is working through everything. We had some upsets to our income this past fall, which is in addition to three years of ups and downs. However, right around this time we did a service on financial giving, which I do so gladly. But this time I was upset because it was said that if you are not giving to God you are stealing from Him. Well, we were giving! We were giving gladly and things still got tough! I was so angry and for one brief moment I wanted to give up, which is so much worse than being comfortable. For one brief moment I wanted to throw in the towel because we are passionate servants of Christ and we constantly go through these trials that grind down my energy and keep me from sleeping well at night.  

 

Then I remembered what I have always known: our trials shape up, Jesus provides all our needs, Jesus will guide us, and there is a plan. Okay, I can handle that. I can’t say that I always like it because I don’t like walking around in the dark. But I can say that as long as the Lord continues to mold me and put me through the fire that I will let Him shape me with His Words, His plan, and His love. Sometimes I think he pokes me too hard but, again, I suppose the Creator of the universe knows how much it’s going to take to bring me wherever it is that He is taking me. How could I ever get comfortable? God’s always shaking things up. I don’t sit down long enough to be comfy and I don’t plan to either.

 

“I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘These are my people’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’” (Zechariah 13:9)

Reorganizing

“No one can serve two masters. For you will have one and love the other you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)

 

Last summer (2007) my econ teacher said that a good depression would probably benefit us more than hurt us and I have to agree with him. Our own personal finances have been hardest by the gas prices but other than that we have always been kind of tight so we have been used to trying to be conservative with our spending. However, as I listen to the news I hear companies readjusting their projected sales for this coming holiday season but I haven’t heard many people I am incredibly close to talking about cutting back their spending habits but that doesn’t mean that isn’t not happening. Money is a tricky thing.

 

Today is a beautiful day in our economy but let me qualify this. Do you know how hard it is to teach your kids that they don’t need every new toy, game, and gadget when all their friends are getting them? I have been forever thankful that we don’t have a lot of extra money because it has forced us to prioritize and teach the kids some good stuff about values. So, now I look around and I am hoping that this crunch on credit and the slight scare of a slippery economy will force more people to be smarter with their money. My econ teacher said, something to the effect, that today’s generation is so free with their money because we had never really gone through the depressions or wars that our parents and grandparents had experienced. Well, I am hopeful that people will start re-evaluating what they do with their money and we start living smarter as a nation because of what we are experiencing today.

 

So, where are you today? Are you cutting back on expenses? Is there a slow down in your business and you are worried you may have to let some employees go? Do you count on that second job during the Christmas season to help pay for Christmas but with the retailers slowing down you are worried that it won’t happen? Or, have you experienced a reduction in income and you don’t know where the money is going to come from week to week? Or, are you just fine? Wherever you are I hope you are willing to meet Jesus or know that He is right there with you. During this time when people are so scared of the markets and of the banks we can rest assured that we can find the peace and satisfaction we need to keep on going from one source and that is our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. Remember, what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again.” (John 14:27-28)

Relief

“Praise the Lord, who is my rock. He trains my hands for war and gives my fingers skill for battle. He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, my rescuer. He is my shield, and I take refuge in him.” (Psalm 144:1-2a)

 

In an effort to prove my husband wrong I have tried my best to get on the exercise bike as often as possible. See, he doesn’t think I will so I will prove him wrong. I like challenges. I fell in love with bicycling during a gruesome February ride and I suddenly couldn’t get enough. I rode whenever I had a chance and I went on my first RAGBRAI ride (one day) that summer. That was 2.5 years ago. The last two summers have not seen me on the bike nearly as much as I wanted to. So, as I have tried to get on the stationary bike the last couple of weeks I have found that my addiction is slowly growing again. I have tried to get on the bike everyday, even if it is for just 15 minutes. It’s not the same as riding on a trail or into the wind but it’s still great.

 

As I have been riding, without having to pay attention to where I am going, I can read, listen to music or podcasts, or just think. I realize I listen to my heartbeat a lot. I can feel the muscles in my body working and the moisture dripping down my back to prove the effort I am putting forth. Surprisingly, I feel close to God in those moments when I am focused on what is going on inside of my body.  It’s like a vale is lifted away from me and I can see clearly. It’s a relief that I can only compare with a refreshing drink of water after being very thirsty or being able to lay down in bed after a long hard day. It’s not so grand I am overwhelmed but I definitely feel blessed and relieved by the experience.

 

I actually don’t know what the lessons are that we can pull from my thoughts this morning. I know when I am exercising I experience a sense of relief and peace but I realize that not everyone is going to experience the same things I do. However, I do know that God has an abundance of grace and peace and we should make efforts to seek them out. I get a release from my workouts, where do you get your release? Everything you do can be an act of worship and God will meet you everywhere you are. He will meet you in a sewing circle or the golf course. He will meet you on your commute to work or in physical therapy. He wants to be with you in everything and I pray that sometime today, or this week, you find the relief you are looking for.

 

“Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7:8)

 

 

Safe Haven

“Jesus replied, ‘Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?’ Then he said, ‘Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.’” (Luke 12:14-15)

 

I spent much of last night tossing and turning. I was having a hard time sleeping and so I had a lot of time on my hands to think of the news, economy, up-coming elections, and anything else that came across my brain. However, the big thing on my mind has been the Nebraska Safe Haven Law. The law went into affect in July of this year (2008) and already 23 kids have been abandoned. Of these 23, at least four were teenagers…almost adults.

 

I actually can appreciate a law that protects children so well. I find it equally sad that such a law is needed but if it ends babies being found in trash cans or behind broken down buildings I think we are making progress. It’s the older ‘child’ that I am most sad for today. How does it feel to be 17 and dropped off and abandoned? Weren’t there any other options? Weren’t there family or friends that could have helped? What was the situation at home that his or her parents was protection them from?  Was it financial? Was it homelessness? Did it have anything to do with drugs or abuse? And, then, what happens to this teenager? What is the future like? Is it brighter? Is it safer? My heart pounds as I try to wrap this around my brain.

 

Then, as I have done so often lately, I am able to put my own life in perspective. We may not have a lot “extra” assets lying around but our bills are getting paid and we have food on the table, which is enough for me to feel as I am doing everything I need to do for my children and more. There may be things I want to do or I want the kids to do but it may not be in the cards today. However, our family is healthy, we laugh together, we fight together, we say our prayers together, we are part of a beautiful family of faith, and we are full of hope.  What kind of hope did these parents have that they gave up their kids? What kind of future is in store for someone who knows they were abandoned? What aren’t we doing, and what can we do, to reach out the community and help those who need it so that they don’t have to give up their kids?  

 

We are so blessed beyond measure, now is the time, and economic outlook, for us to reach way down within ourselves and see if we are giving, serving, and loving as much as we can to make this world a better place and to build up the Kingdom for Jesus.

 

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his might power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

Short and Sweet

“The life of the godly is full of light and joy, but the light of the wicked will be snuffed out.” (Proverbs 13:9)

 

Right at this moment I am experiencing a rare event. I am writing and then going to get ready for work and all around me there is silence, except for a little bit of snoring. The kids do not have school today and so I can let them sleep in. Unfortunately, my quiet morning is plagued with a tired that runs deep from going to bed late, tossing in my sleep, waking up to a little girl with a headache, and then sleeping way past time to get up. However, all that doesn’t matter because I am basking in the silence and as I look out my east facing window I can see the glow of the sun start to creep up over the trees in the horizon. The trees across the street have lost most of their leaves and their old knarled branches stand out in the slowly lightening sky. It’s another morning, on another day, in another year that I can feel the beauty of the world God has made and thank Him for the grace that He has given me.

 

I needed a morning like this. We all experience our own kind of busyness and God gives us little moments like this for us to enjoy….we just have to slow down long enough to see them. How I love moments like this! Moments when it doesn’t feel like I am spinning in different directions or needing to be a superhero, nursemaid, bus driver, or janitor all at the same time. Moments when I know my time is limited but it’s not interrupted. Moments when I can sit in the quiet and the peace of reflect on how God’s love shines in my life. This morning I am able to breathe in and breathe out and smile as I head into my day.

 

“When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars that you have set in place—what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?” (Psalm 8:3-4)

Frustrated

“You can be sure that I will rescue my people from the east and from the west.  I will bring them home again to live safely in Jerusalem.  They will be my people, and I will be faithful and just toward them as their God.” (Zechariah 8:7b-8)

 

“I think sometimes our own personal feelings and opinions can get in our way when we are trying to understand why our friends are going through what they are and what our role is supposed to be. However, this isn’t about me”

 

I always find great comfort in the versus that remind me that God is going to bring me home to Him. I feel all warm and fuzzy when I read about how much God loves me. However, I have also struggled with the fact that just because I am a child of God doesn’t mean I won’t struggle, that I won’t make mistakes. You would think that with how much I try to fill my self up with His Word, prayer, sermons, sticky notes, and whatever that my mistakes or problems with be down to nothing. How wrong I am to presume that God would ease my passage through this life. However, no matter what I go through or what choices I make (even if they are not part of what God wants for me) He still loves me. God is that perfect parent who never stops loving you even when the mistakes are piling up.

 

The second quote I provided was taken out of a personal conversation. I think we can go to the cross for our own struggles and worries with the comfort and knowledge that Jesus will walk with us. However, when someone in our community, church family, circle of friends, or immediate family face the flames are we as gracious? Do we reflect the perfect love that Jesus demonstrated as He hung on the cross? When we judge our brothers and sisters are we doing it with eyes of Christ or our own self-righteousness? When we are confronted in our choices by people who love us how do we react? See, it’s frustrating because the balance on this beam is extremely precarious and can get leave down-right nasty bruises when we fall.

 

There seems to be a season of brokenness in our country, communities, church families, and immediate families today. The divisions are great and the valleys in between seem to be getting deeper. Some days it feels like the world is spinning out of control. This is the time to truly bask in God’s Word, in prayer, and in any other way you can think of to saturate yourself in God so that as you walk through day-to-day you will know that God is with you, that you are precious to Him, that you have a purpose, and that you are loved.

 

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.  We love each other because he loved us first.” (1 John 4:18-19)

 

 

It’s Easy and It’s Not

“You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.  A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good hear, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.  The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” (Matthew 12:34-37)

 

It really isn’t that hard for me to be good. I have learned that I can be impressionable at times so I have learned how to guard my heart, my mind, and anything else. I am careful about my friendships, I am careful with my media, and I am careful with my time. However, I also don’t have a lot of spiritual road blocks in my path.

 

I live in a home where we are all on the same page (for the most part) spiritually. I work somewhere where I do not have to hide my beliefs and, in fact, my boss is slowly becoming somewhat of a mentor to me when I go to him with questions of ministry and leadership. My closest and dearest friends are Christians and so we work really hard to encourage one another to live the life God calls us to live. I really don’t need to show the kids’ teachers that they believe in Jesus; the kids do a good enough job of that for me and they are accepted in their environment. And last, but most definitely not least, my husband and I have given our marriage to God. I will confess that in my life there are ample opportunities for me to live out my faith. I am blessed.

 

However, I still stumble…even with such a smoothly patched road ahead of me. I have had my struggles, but in the light of things of this world I realize that they were not dire. I find it easier and easier to talk about my faith openly, but I constantly surround myself with like-minded people so we are talking about God anyway. I guess what I am trying to say is that I know I have it easy or easier than most. My ease of passage doesn’t mean I don’t meet challenges along the way. Every morning, regardless of the people in your life, the choices you made yesterday, or the health of your spirituality we each chose to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. I may not know how to help you get through the trial you are going through but I will walk with you as you go.

 

In the end, whether it is easy or hard, we all still have to make that choice. We all have to decide what we are going to live for. We all have to figure out our purpose and reason behind putting one foot in front of the other every morning. It may be easy….it may not, but it always leads you home.

 

“So, let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

The Lion

“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?  Does a lion ever roar in a thicket without first finding a victim?” (Amos 3:3-4)

 

We took the kids to the zoo on Sunday afternoon. The weather was very cold and it was really cloudy out AND it was free admission…so we packed into the van and went to the zoo. It was the first time I really enjoyed our local zoo in a long time. They had added new features and the kids seemed to have a really great time. Our youngest had me chasing him from exhibit to exhibit. We were over by the sea lions when I heard this really deep noise that kind of sounded like a croupy cough. Only this cough was making my ears tingle and I could feel it in my chest. I walked over to the lion’s cages and watched as the male lion did that weird croupy-cough noise and it got the lionesses in the cage kind of riled up and it was so loud. I was amazed that such a very loud noise was coming from a lion who didn’t look as though he was making any more effort than you or I do when we blink.

 

I wonder what hearing a real roar would be like. I have seen the “Lion King” and I have watched the animal documentaries, however after hearing the grunts coming from that lion and the way the noise affected my whole body I can’t image how deafening a roar would be. It’s not wonder that the lion is the king of the jungle with a roar like that. Before I always wondered why the elephants or the rhinos weren’t the boss. After hearing that lion I now know.  

 

I truly believe we see God the same way sometimes. We know he is King, we have seen His grace and His wrath, but I do not believe we will truly understand His power until the first day Jesus calls us home. As loud as I thought I knew lions were I was obviously wrong and as amazed I am at the magnitude of our Lord, I imagine that He just that much greater and bigger. I have never wanted to hear a lion’s full blown out roar more than I have this past week and I have never wanted to kneel at the feet of my Lord and be in His presence so that I can hear His voice more than I do right now.

 

“Jesus replied, ‘Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.’”(Mark 12:24)