Hiding

“Well then, you might say, ‘Why does God blame people for not responding? Haven’t they simply done what he makes them do?’” (Romans 9:19)

 

I love writing. My passion may have been hard to see lately, since my schedule has begun to overwhelm me again, but I do love writing. And I am not sure if it is the writing so much as that I feel obligated to do it. Because of this obligation I feel God is sometimes holding a magnifying glass to my life, somewhat like what salaried church staff may experience without my name being in the bulletin (oh yeah, and without the salary). I appreciate this magnifying glass immensely because not only is God using the jumbled up morning ramblings of a random woman to reach out to people but He has chipped away at the fortress I built around myself and there is very rarely anything in my life that everyone cannot see. You all walk this path with me and I may hesitate but I always end up sharing my struggles and my triumphs, regardless if you want to hear it or not. God is who I am accountable for in all things. Because I am in Him there is no hiding.

 

Sometimes I wish I had God’s knack for knowing everything that goes on in the heart of His children. Although, I will admit that the idea scares me. I believe God knows every miscellaneous thought that has crossed my brain and/or heart, which makes me want to hurl. There are days when I wish I could be with my kids throughout every moment like God is with me. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so scared of what they may encounter. There are other days when I am thankful for their trials because they will hopefully learn and grow from them as I have from mine. Whereas I cannot hide from God, my children (and anyone else for that matter) can hide from me. I pray for the day when my children love God the way that I do and know that there is no reality in hiding from the Creator of the universe.

 

I am thankful that our God is not holding strings and dictating our every move because then I don’t think life would be worth living. I am equally thankful that I feel extremely accountable to God and that He has placed people in my life to pick me up when I fall. Two days ago, if you were to ask me what my biggest fear would be I would have told you that I didn’t have one. Now, I realize that my biggest fear is what my children may choose to hide from me as they grow. I can tell you, I think with all honesty, that I, unlike God, do NOT want to know everything. I will be frank and say that there are somethings I would rather just pretend won’t happen. But I don’t want to be the parent with rose colored glasses who misses everything. I simply pray that as my children live their lives that they look to God, and the people He has placed in their lives, to help pick them up when they fall. I pray they realize there really is no hiding, no matter how well they guard themselves.

 

if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

 

I Made Her Cry

“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” (Psalm 25:4-5)

 

It’s hard to see someone who is usually on the move lying in a hospital bed but that is exactly what my sister has been doing since Sunday. She tells me how friends have come in and try to hide their shock but when she looks at them she see their concern, which makes her tear up, then they tear up, then everyone is crying. Me, I have been a very good girl….until last night. I have saved my tears for when I am away from her because I don’t want her upset or thinking that my tears aren’t tears of joy and thanksgiving. But last night we were talking about something and a little water escaped my well trained eyes and then she started telling me I can’t get upset.

 

I think about all the stupid things I stress out about and I feel miserable about it. Although I don’t want to discount my trials and my problems because they were struggles for me, they still were nothing compared to the battle so many people have to endure to get back on their feet or, if you live in countries of war, famine, or genocide, the fight to simply live. Things aren’t where I want them to be in my life but I am blessed. My sister has a challenging road ahead of her but she has this amazing attitude and determination to get through it and I admire her greatly.

 

Lots of times, with my reoccurring dilemmas, I tend to think it’s pointless and not even try, which is hilarious considering how many things I had to work hard to achieve! Are there things in your life that you have given up on? Are there things that you feel are hopeless? I haven’t crushed all the snakes at my heel but I know it can be done. God gives us everything we need to accomplish this and if we aren’t meant totally smash it, He will give us the strength to endure.

 

“When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and stars you set in place—what a mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them! Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor.” (Psalm 8:3-5)

The Big Yes!

“For Jesus the Son of God does not waiver between “Yes” and “No.” He is the one whom Silas, Timothy, and I preached to you, and as God’s ultimate “Yes”, he always does what he says. For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “yes”) ascends to God for his glory”(2 Corinthians 2:19-20)

 

The big yes! I do not remember ever reading these lines before, which gets me excited because that means God hides certain gems in His Word for me discover at different times of my life. But reading Paul saying that Jesus was the ultimate “Yes!” from God simply amazed me today. With the economy sinking deeper into the pot, people losing their jobs, home owners struggling to save their homes, and people doing that precarious balancing act with their finances it’s hard to see the light. Where is God’s answer in all this? Why does it seem like God may not be listening?

 

We need to remember that God has already given us His answer! He gave us, as Paul said, the ultimate “Yes” when He sent Jesus down to save us. Through the prophet Micah, 700 years before Jesus’ birth, God told everyone what His plans were (Micah 5:2-5a). The people must have thought Micah was crazy, but God had His plan and He followed through by giving us the answer to everything: Jesus.

 

Ann Graham Lotz said that as Jesus hung on that cross He took on any possible sin and burden the human race had ever and will ever carry. He knows what you are going through right at this moment and He can sympathize and meet you right where you are. When everything fades, the situation passes, or Jesus raptures His people there will be one underlying theme that has no end: Jesus. So, in all things, if you break it down to what it is really going to take, all you need is Jesus. Jesus is our ultimate answer everyday and that obviously hasn’t changed for 2000 years.

 

“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, and our spirits are being renewed everyday. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now, rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Filling Up on God

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:26)

 

I volunteered to teach on Wednesday nights this year knowing that teaching is not a strong point for me, at least I don’t think so. But I love the Wednesday night program and I knew they needed leaders so here I am. I work with 5^th and 6^th graders, which is an interesting age. Some of the boys come in there pretending not to care about anything and some of the girls try really hard not to show their excitement because they actually enjoy it. I come in some nights dreading what’s ahead because trying to incorporate The Purpose Driven Life (current church study) into teaching points has been harder than we thought. If I am going to be honest I actually dread most nights because I don’t feel like I reach the kids; I feel like I do more shushing than teaching. But in the last couple weeks something has changed.

 

It started two weeks ago when I wasn’t even teaching. I had the night off to watch my daughter’s program and so my teaching partner took over and had the kids do a skit. That seemed to work so well that we did another one last week. That skit was awful! But the kids seemed to like the idea of skits so we tried it one more time last night. The kids were so great! We drew for parts, I had copies of the skit printed off for them, and they knew exactly where to make it funny. I was thoroughly impressed and so proud of them both during class and as they performed for the other classes.  I know we can’t do skits every week because not all the kids want to but I have all kinds of ideas running through my head for a future skit that I think would be amazing!

 

For the first time, in a long time, I really do feel some excitement for teaching. I know it may sound awful that I would teach and dread it at the same time but no matter how scared I am to teach I always leave each session touched and moved by the kids; it’s a weird cycle. But I wouldn’t be experiencing any of these things if I hadn’t stepped out of my comfort zone. I don’t think most people realize how happy I would be to hide behind this computer for anything and everything I do but God has other plans. I thank God this morning for laying things on me that I didn’t want and for pushing me when I wanted to stay. I thank Jesus for trusting me with these kids and for giving what we need to reach them. Once again I am reminded of how blessed I am and what a great family of faith I am a part of. God is good and I feel filled.

 

“So be careful how you live. Don’t be like fools, but like those who are wise.  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts.  And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:15-20)

The Gallows

“Caiaphas, who was high priest at that time, said, ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t realize that it’s better for you that one man should die for the people than for the whole world to be destroyed.’” (John 11:49-50)

 

It’s quite a prophetic statement that Caiaphas made in the Gospel of John. Jesus did die for the people so that the world would not be destroyed. He died so we can live. What greater motivation could we have to serve Him than knowing this?

 

I am reading the “Soon” series by Jerry Jenkins. It’s a futuristic trilogy based after WWIII and once that war is over religion has been banned globally. Seeing as religious beliefs is what sets off many wars it isn’t far fetched to see the governments of the world unite and ban all religion and what a sad day that would be. I keep asking myself how I would respond. Would I gladly take imprisonment or death? Or would I hide and try to secretly spread the gospel? Or, even worse, would I, in a vain and earthly attempt to protect myself and my family, stop serving my God?

 

Christians in this world are not overly accepted by the mainstream. Even by our own families we can find ridicule and shame. In certain circles we are referred to as mindless sheep. People ask how we can serve a God who allows so much pain and suffering. People who don’t know, or who have had awful life experiences, find our beliefs unbelievable. I don’t know what to say to those arguments much of the time because it’s hard for me to explain how I crossed that invisible line of faith.

 

We are told in the Bible to always be watching and waiting for Jesus to arrive. I take this as also being reading to stand up for our faith. We have to be strong in prayer, strong at working together and strong in our knowledge of His Word. We have to live in anticipation and stay close to our Savior so that we will be ready for whatever He calls us to do, whenever that may be.

 

“So you, too, must keep watch!  For you don’t know what day your Lord is coming. Understand this: If a homeowner knew exactly when a burglar was coming, he would keep watch not permit his house to be broken into. You also must be ready all the time, for the Son of Man will come when least expected.” (Matthew 24:42-44)

Jobs I Wouldn’t Want

“All the women who were willing used their skills to spin the goat hair into yarn.” (Exodus 35:26)

 

A few months ago my friends and I decided to spoil ourselves with a beauty day. We headed out to the Iowa School of Beauty and got pedicures and facials. I asked the girl working on my feet if she was planning on specializing in nails. You should have seen the look on her face. She is definitely not working on hands and feet for a living and I laughed with her at her reaction. I know I couldn’t work on people’s feet. However, I did tell her that she should gleam one moment of triumph that day because she was bringing joy to me through the service she was offering.

 

I have gotten to know my new dentist quite well this month as I have been there almost every week, sometimes more than once a week for the past for or five weeks. I have an extreme fear of the dentist but he is wonderful. After my first visit I assaulted my kids with a verbal rampage of how I didn’t know why anyone would want to stick their fingers, and spend all day looking, into someone’s mouth! I even asked him what drives a person to want to go into dentistry. He told me it wasn’t something he necessarily thought about growing up but it was obviously somewhere deep within for him to where he is now. And although no one brings me greater fear, anxiety, stress, lack of sleep, or the experience of hearing noises that give me nightmares than the dentist I must say I think he, and his entire staff, are awesome. Dental professionals are another set of people who do an extreme service, as gross as I think it is, and help heal people.

 

There are a huge number of jobs that I would and/or could never do and as I think about it they are jobs that almost always place someone in the servant/healer/teacher roles like serving in restaurants, teaching kids, medical professionals, or cashiers, just to name a very few. I could never do any of these jobs because it’s not who I am but I thank God everyday for the people who, for a living, make other lives better. I believe it is in people like these who we can see Jesus in everyday. These are the professionals that make a difference and can change the world.

 

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” (Romans 12:4-5)

 

 

Safe Haven

“Jesus replied, ‘Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?’ Then he said, ‘Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.’” (Luke 12:14-15)

 

I spent much of last night tossing and turning. I was having a hard time sleeping and so I had a lot of time on my hands to think of the news, economy, up-coming elections, and anything else that came across my brain. However, the big thing on my mind has been the Nebraska Safe Haven Law. The law went into affect in July of this year (2008) and already 23 kids have been abandoned. Of these 23, at least four were teenagers…almost adults.

 

I actually can appreciate a law that protects children so well. I find it equally sad that such a law is needed but if it ends babies being found in trash cans or behind broken down buildings I think we are making progress. It’s the older ‘child’ that I am most sad for today. How does it feel to be 17 and dropped off and abandoned? Weren’t there any other options? Weren’t there family or friends that could have helped? What was the situation at home that his or her parents was protection them from?  Was it financial? Was it homelessness? Did it have anything to do with drugs or abuse? And, then, what happens to this teenager? What is the future like? Is it brighter? Is it safer? My heart pounds as I try to wrap this around my brain.

 

Then, as I have done so often lately, I am able to put my own life in perspective. We may not have a lot “extra” assets lying around but our bills are getting paid and we have food on the table, which is enough for me to feel as I am doing everything I need to do for my children and more. There may be things I want to do or I want the kids to do but it may not be in the cards today. However, our family is healthy, we laugh together, we fight together, we say our prayers together, we are part of a beautiful family of faith, and we are full of hope.  What kind of hope did these parents have that they gave up their kids? What kind of future is in store for someone who knows they were abandoned? What aren’t we doing, and what can we do, to reach out the community and help those who need it so that they don’t have to give up their kids?  

 

We are so blessed beyond measure, now is the time, and economic outlook, for us to reach way down within ourselves and see if we are giving, serving, and loving as much as we can to make this world a better place and to build up the Kingdom for Jesus.

 

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his might power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

What to Write

“The man looked around, ‘Yes’, he said, ‘I see people, but I can’t see them clearly. They look like trees waling around.’” (Mark 8:24)

 

I wasn’t sure what to write about this morning. Do I write about how I slept in the basement and when I woke up it was to strange noises, and I thought my husband wasn’t home, I was so scared only to find out it was him making the noises? Or do I write about how I almost fell asleep while I was praying so I wrapped up my prayers really fast and started to read, out loud, so that I could still have at least some time with God this morning? Even now, I sit here feeling like there is some kind of tired haze over my brain as I try to sort out this first part of my morning and plan the rest of my day.

 

In Mark 8 Jesus restores sight to a blind man (vs 22-25) by spitting on the man’s eyes. At first, I think GROSS. Then, I wonder if it would be easier to walk faith everyday if Jesus were to just spit on me! Think about it. If you were brought to some strange guy and he spit on you and you were healed, would it really be that hard to try to follow him everywhere he went?  Then, I have mornings like today when I feel so foggy (or froggy as my youngest would say) and I kind of want Him to spit on me and clear me all up.

 

Jesus may not be dropping spit balls from Heaven on us but that doesn’t mean He hasn’t left us plenty of opportunities to be cleared of our fog and to see clearly. We can talk with Him, walk with Him through reading the Bible and worship, and be held by Him when pain and suffering hit us like a boulder. The road we are on is not easy but we know that final outcome and we have been given glimpses of eternity. Since eternity, understanding, and joy are my future I can handle the times when I feel a little off in my present.

 

“’For everyone will be tested with fire. Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.’” (Mark 9: 49-50)

The Lion

“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?  Does a lion ever roar in a thicket without first finding a victim?” (Amos 3:3-4)

 

We took the kids to the zoo on Sunday afternoon. The weather was very cold and it was really cloudy out AND it was free admission…so we packed into the van and went to the zoo. It was the first time I really enjoyed our local zoo in a long time. They had added new features and the kids seemed to have a really great time. Our youngest had me chasing him from exhibit to exhibit. We were over by the sea lions when I heard this really deep noise that kind of sounded like a croupy cough. Only this cough was making my ears tingle and I could feel it in my chest. I walked over to the lion’s cages and watched as the male lion did that weird croupy-cough noise and it got the lionesses in the cage kind of riled up and it was so loud. I was amazed that such a very loud noise was coming from a lion who didn’t look as though he was making any more effort than you or I do when we blink.

 

I wonder what hearing a real roar would be like. I have seen the “Lion King” and I have watched the animal documentaries, however after hearing the grunts coming from that lion and the way the noise affected my whole body I can’t image how deafening a roar would be. It’s not wonder that the lion is the king of the jungle with a roar like that. Before I always wondered why the elephants or the rhinos weren’t the boss. After hearing that lion I now know.  

 

I truly believe we see God the same way sometimes. We know he is King, we have seen His grace and His wrath, but I do not believe we will truly understand His power until the first day Jesus calls us home. As loud as I thought I knew lions were I was obviously wrong and as amazed I am at the magnitude of our Lord, I imagine that He just that much greater and bigger. I have never wanted to hear a lion’s full blown out roar more than I have this past week and I have never wanted to kneel at the feet of my Lord and be in His presence so that I can hear His voice more than I do right now.

 

“Jesus replied, ‘Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.’”(Mark 12:24)

Here We Go!

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!” (Psalm 42:5-6b)

 

Isn’t it amazing how you can spend time in prayer asking God to walk with you during your trials and to deliver you from them only to leave one hard circumstance and walk into another?  That is what our family is facing. We have been anticipating new, and good, events and now that they are here we realize that things need to adjust and things need to change….and we are now, once again, realizing that there is still more work to do, more give and take to give and take, and lots of grace everyday. However, we have hope and faith that God has a plan and that everything is going to work out just fine….even if it hurts a little.

 

As my husband and I were discussing the effects of his promotion on our family I was in shock. We have been waiting so long only to have to stagger slightly when we were facing the changes this would mean for our family and I was kind of numb. I just kept repeating to myself that God is good and He has a plan (a perfect plan). We agreed that we know that God is in control and that He will provide as He has been doing. We have faith and once again we will face this trial with Jesus out in front of us and we will make it through because we put our hope and trust in Jesus.

 

Where are you legs leading you to? Are you facing any trials right now? Has a tough time just left you or has a change come your way? Whatever you are facing we can rejoice and not be discouraged. Whatever bumps are in the road we will not be forced to turn around or give up.  We are soldiers in God’s army—yes! I said soldiers—and just because we get through a battle, or even win one, the war and mission is not complete. So, we continue to put one foot in front of the other, look to Jesus to guide us, and faithfully and hopefully know that Jesus can see the horizon.

 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)