Something Good

“This is what the Lord says:  ‘Stop at the crossroads and look around.  Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.  Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.’” (Jeremiah 6:16a) 

Sleep is a beautiful thing.  I can say that very proudly as I got my first good night of sleep in over two weeks.  This beautiful spring air is doing a number to my sinuses.  My allergies are in full force.  I have trouble breathing.  I am constantly blowing my nose.  My eyes feel like they have scratches on them.  I am starting to hear a gurgling in my ears and all these things combined leave me up most of the night because it’s hard to sleep when you can’t breathe and you are always blowing your nose!  It took all weekend but the insurance company approved the meds the doctor prescribed last week and I slept all night. 

 My relief comes in small doses.  If I want to sleep all night I have to take this pill at night which means I may be blowing my nose quite a bit today, at least until I supplement with something over the counter, but there is relief.  I will probably continue to be trapped in the house for a couple more weeks and then POOF my allergies will disappear, the drainage will go away, and I will be as normal and I can get.  In all the trials I have gone through, and that lay before me, this is probably small in comparison but it is a hard time for me all the same.  

Life is a constant stream of experiences, some of them joyful and some painful.  If we let Him, God can use anything to bring us closer to Him and to make us stronger.  I am surrounded by the joys of new life, friends making new homes, new beginnings, and even new careers.  I am equally surrounded by risky surgeries, the return of cancer, and people I love having to face the pain of losing their jobs, homes, and security.  Over and over again this week I have heard that God will use our trials to make us stronger.  I swear versus that cover this are everywhere I turn and I appreciate it so much.  As I spent about a month in a shadow of time and I see myself coming out of that, stuffy nose and all, I am thankful that I know that God will bring me through anything no matter how insignificant it may be or how heavy the burden feels. 

 “In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus.  So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.  All power to him forever! Amen.” (1 Peter 5:10-11)

You May Not Agree with Me

“You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” (Genesis 4:7-8)

Iowa passed a law allowing same-sex marriage last week. I was not surprised at all. I expected the ruling to go down that way and a part of me is really struggling because I agree with it. Yes, me, the Bible-loving, God fearing, praying, joyful, Christian that I am is very torn because the legal rules, separation of church and state, side of me sees the point. I chose my faith. I chose to follow God and His ways and His design for life, marriage, love, and everything outside and in between. Although I will tell you to get involved in politics, go to meetings, vote as often as you can so that people we want to represent us are in office I do not believe that our Christian disciplines should be forced on anyone.

I know that a homosexual lifestyle is not what I teach my children and it’s not what I want for my children, I can be honest about that. However, I know if one of my children chose that I would still love them and still have them over for dinner. (Why dinner is sticking out in my mind I don’t know.) Then I think of God. He not only loves my gay child but also loves his or her partner, so I would invite that person over for dinner. My children would get a taste of the unconditional love the Father has for us through me even knowing that I don’t approve of their life style. Punishment for sin, and separation from God, is not something I have the right to dish out. And that gay child, believing with all of their heart that Jesus died for his or her sins, has a place in Heaven. There are sins that I struggle with daily that weigh no more than any other sin. The best I believe we can do is strive to live the life that God has planned for us and shine Jesus’ light for the world to see.

The state determining who can be legally united does not diminish the sanctity of marriage. The sanctity of marriage is what WE make of it and how we help other find the beauty in what God originally designed for us. Look at what heterosexual marriages have brought into our society over the last 50 years. When it comes to defending the sanctity of marriage, traditional marriages haven’t done such a great job of being the leaders in good marriages and monogamy in our country today. If we seriously want to make a difference in the world it has to start in our own marriages and then we have to learn to love the way God loves. I cannot stress enough how badly I mess up everyday and every time I go to the cross He forgives me. His example is excellent and perfect. So, you may not agree with me (I am not sure I do) but I just think that God has better ways for us to reach out and in than to verbally or legally attack people whose lifestyles are different than ours and I am sure there is a line there too….

“So the trouble is not with the laws, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good.” (Romans 7:14-16)

A Tough Bridge to Cross

“For troubles surround me—too many to count! My sins pile up so high I can’t see my way out. They outnumber the hairs on my head. I have lost all courage.”

 

I feel selfish when I am trying to reflect inward and get to the bottom of me. Maybe selfish isn’t the right word. Maybe it’s self-centered, which would make sense. I had spent so much time only worried about what I wanted, what felt right and good to me, and what made me happy that whenever I put the focus on me and my heart it feels wrong. But, here I stand before you and I am questioning who I am. Of course, I wonder if I am not questioning who I am as much as trying to figure out where I went because there are moments when I don’t like the thoughts that course through my mind and the feelings that flow through my heart and I think, “this isn’t me” and if it isn’t me where did I go?

 

I lost my focus. I let my pride grow and the backfire is that I have grown resentful and angry.  I feel out of grace and out of patience. God calls us to love and not be angry but I always seem to find a way to grumble and complain. Paul says, in Philippians 2:4, “do all things without complaining and arguing”, yet, as much as I pray and ask God to help me do that, I find myself grumbling and complaining once more.

 

Do you know how hard it is to truly look inward and see who you are? It’s tough and, unfortunately, I am letting this struggle I am going through overshadow all the good blessings in my life. I need to work though this season in my life and not give up. Actually, that is wrong. I need to let God work through me. I think I may have snagged the reigns of my life out of His hands and tried to take over again. Obviously, I am not doing a very good job. I need to embrace the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) once again. But He knows. There is nothing I can go to God with that He doesn’t know and didn’t sacrifice for. Isn’t that what Easter is all about?

 

“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edge sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between join and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one whom we are accountable.

 

“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testing we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious god. There will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:12-16)

Confessions

“I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.” (Jonah 4:2c)

 

I have been a walking time bomb. I have been praying every morning and every night. I pour myself onto the Lord, probably being way harder on myself than He would be, and this anger welling up inside of me won’t go away.  I feel it way down in the bottom of my chest and it is manifesting itself through my body. I feel it taking hold of me and becoming way too familiar. I carry it around, I wear it on my sleeve, and I look it straight in the eye knowing how awful it is. At this point, the only reason it is still here (because I have begged God to take it away) is because I am holding on to it, now why would I do that?

 

Control. I am feeling terribly out of control right now. I am realizing how anal I have been in that I loose all function when things go out of wack. When even the slightest thing is off the center I have so precariously placed it I have trouble getting from point A to point B. I am surer now than ever before that I am obsessive. But, at the same time I think it’s more than that but I am not quite sure how to find the other side to see what that “more” is exactly. How can such conflict reside in one person? I love the Lord, I know He is the answer to all things, and yet I grasp for control and I am coming up empty all the time. What am I doing wrong?

 

Maybe this is another time for me to wrestle with God. Maybe this is another time when I have to work long and hard to get my heart and mind in line with each other and God once again. I want Him to wash away this anger that is spreading in my life. I want Him to guide me and walk me through this day and this hour and bring me fresh on the other side. But more than anything I want to feel His love and for my Savior to remind me how to love unconditionally and no matter what. I pray that as I walk through Lent with Jesus this year that He will do just that.

 

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16a)

Made to Love

“Understand, therefore, that the Lord your god is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.” (Deuteronomy 7:9)

 

I have felt jumbled lately, which makes it harder to write. With so many things spinning around in my brain I have a hard time focusing enough to write. Writing has become such an unexpected blessing in my life that I feel incomplete when I can’t do it but if I don’t know what to say it’s better not to say anything. This morning I am going to let a book say it for me.

 

I am reading The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. My Bible study group is going to be doing this study in a couple weeks and my girlfriend gave me a copy for my birthday. I don’t usually enjoy reading when I am told to do it. I think it forces me to text book mode. Anyway, I was reading it yesterday as I waited in the carpool line. Listen (or read) this: “You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way

around.” (p. 97). I have been thinking about this line ever since. I guess you could say I am meditating on it.

 

Have you ever noticed the hurt and anger in someone’s voice when they talk about their anger toward God? When someone questions the evils of the world and can’t make sense of a god when there is so much terror, genocide, and violence in a “perfect, God-made, world” can you feel their disgust?  I learned a long time ago it usually takes loving someone very much to get to the point where you are disgusted by them. Faith in this world is a tough thing and it takes acknowledging that you will not always understand everything, things will not always go your way, the road will almost never be easy, and pain will come in the same waves as joy.  

 

I wondered around long enough, living in my own world and my own pleasures and my own selfishness that I can tell you that once I learned to love God and receive His love I felt whole.  I didn’t understand anything any more or less par se. But I realized that I was loved unconditionally, something I didn’t understand until that moment and that made a bigger difference than I can describe. I am sure other people had tried to show me that unconditional love but I didn’t get it. I get it now and in turn I try to love in the same way. It’s a bumpy road but I want my children, my husband, my family, my friends, and my family of faith to know this love and to live in it; not making the world any easier to live in but making it a life worth living.

 

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

In my Trying Times

“When they came near the camp, Moses saw the calf and the dancing, and he burned with anger. He threw the stone tables to the ground, smashing them at the foot of the mountain.” (Exodus 32:19)

 

I have a hard time writing when I am frustrated or upset. I am not saying that I am walking around with anger or frustration but I have come to ask myself why I can shoot out devotions some mornings and not others. Today, I am just tired. I don’t know if I am physically tired or mentally tired but I know that I am tired. I guess I am angry too, now that I think about it. It’s been a long week.

 

Do you ever have times like Moses? Times when you want to smash something when you look at what is going around you? In our homes, in our communities, in our country, and in our world I sometimes I have to ask myself, “what is in the world is going on?” And, unfortunately, I can have feelings at all different levels simultaneously. Makes me wonder why my head really doesn’t turn a 360 every so often throughout my day.

 

But then there is God. I have been meditating on this all week: He is love. I realized Monday I haven’t been loving the people I need to love in the way I am called to love them. I have been frustrated and resentful and that is not how God is calling us to love and that is not the way Jesus has shown us how to live. I find myself putting limits and, as I write that, I am happy that God never put limits on me because there is a good possibility He would have walked away from me years ago and before I had a chance to reach out and call Him Lord. It’s something to think about today.

 

“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away or sins.” (1 John 4:10)

So Frustrated

“I lift you high in praise, my God, O my King! And I will bless your name into eternity.” (Psalm 145:1 Message)

 

This was not the way I wanted to start my morning. We have been scolding our oldest son. It’s hard for me because I feel sorry for his self-inflicted problem he is in but it is so hard to go over the same things over and over again and feel like his anger is preventing him from really hearing anything we have to say.

 

I wonder how often God feels that way. Many of our life circumstances, good or bad, are a result of our own choices. He tells us, He shows us, He gives us grace over and over and over again and here we are…still in the same rut. Even the things I know I need to change about me and my lifestyles are so extremely hard to change but I know everything I need to know and I make my mistakes anyway. Why is that?

 

We need to trust God enough to make the right decisions. We need to follow His ways. Have you ever noticed that we say God has a perfect plan but we don’t want to do it His way? And then, when you realize you were going the wrong direction and feel the peace of following that narrow path, you may steel veer off into a different direction because it looked pretty good? How can I raise a child when I am such a wreck some days? What has God given me that I am not using to push through these obstacles? All the answers are right there.

 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 The Message)*

*thanks Suzanne!

What do you think?

“But—‘When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.  He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior.  Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.’ This is trust a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial to everyone.” (Titus 3:4-8)

 

No where in this passage does Paul say that we did anything to deserve the salvation that Jesus Christ so freely gave. No where does it mention that some sinners are more deserving of this grace than others. No where does it say that the sins in our lives, and that is any sin because  they all carry the same weight, makes us more or less qualified to receive this salvation.

 

As I see the world and social structure change around us I see many Christians using their voices and really hurting the people that come in their path. We may say that we don’t agree with homosexuality or cohabitation of any kind without a marriage, for an easy example, but it’s not necessarily about what we do or don’t agree with. Our voices should reflect that of Christ and he didn’t like lying, stealing, gossiping, turning his church into a marketplace, being jealous, and not having self-control, gentleness, kindness, peace, joy, love, etc (Galatians 5:22-23). Every sin has the same weight as any other, so lying and cheating is just as disdainful to God as murder. And as much as Jesus wanted to set our minds and hearts against these things He also let us knows how much He loved us in spite of these things. He hates the sin but always loves the sinner.

 

 Look I know what I believe is right and what I think is wrong. But I believe that we are called to love everyone. We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus and when the prostitute was about to be stoned He didn’t throw the first stone and neither should we. Free will is a beautiful thing we can thank God for daily and we cannot try to condemn or condone people for using their gift differently than we would. I don’t know where I am going with this today. I just know the white-lie you told your boss is as deep a gash in Jesus’ back as the one it sits next from the person who robbed the bank.  The sin that put one nail in Jesus’ hand is no different than the sin that put the other nail there. Love each other and know that God loves each of you because we are ALL His children.

 

“For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Galatians 5:14)

The Big Yes!

“For Jesus the Son of God does not waiver between “Yes” and “No.” He is the one whom Silas, Timothy, and I preached to you, and as God’s ultimate “Yes”, he always does what he says. For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “yes”) ascends to God for his glory”(2 Corinthians 2:19-20)

 

The big yes! I do not remember ever reading these lines before, which gets me excited because that means God hides certain gems in His Word for me discover at different times of my life. But reading Paul saying that Jesus was the ultimate “Yes!” from God simply amazed me today. With the economy sinking deeper into the pot, people losing their jobs, home owners struggling to save their homes, and people doing that precarious balancing act with their finances it’s hard to see the light. Where is God’s answer in all this? Why does it seem like God may not be listening?

 

We need to remember that God has already given us His answer! He gave us, as Paul said, the ultimate “Yes” when He sent Jesus down to save us. Through the prophet Micah, 700 years before Jesus’ birth, God told everyone what His plans were (Micah 5:2-5a). The people must have thought Micah was crazy, but God had His plan and He followed through by giving us the answer to everything: Jesus.

 

Ann Graham Lotz said that as Jesus hung on that cross He took on any possible sin and burden the human race had ever and will ever carry. He knows what you are going through right at this moment and He can sympathize and meet you right where you are. When everything fades, the situation passes, or Jesus raptures His people there will be one underlying theme that has no end: Jesus. So, in all things, if you break it down to what it is really going to take, all you need is Jesus. Jesus is our ultimate answer everyday and that obviously hasn’t changed for 2000 years.

 

“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, and our spirits are being renewed everyday. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now, rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Standing Strong

“If you think you are standing strong be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.  And God is faithful.  He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.  When you are temped, he will show you a way out so that you can endure” (1 Corinthians 10:12-13)

 

I never want to be comfortable in my faith. I never want to feel as if I could find all the answers. I never want to think that I have done all I need to do in my faith and, therefore, I can sit back and wait for the day when Jesus brings me home. I am scared that if I were ever to get to the day when I was comfortable I would loose the joy in my faith and stop growing. A good pastor once said if you’re not growing, you’re dying. The only death I fear is a spiritual one so I will continue to pray and I will continue and read the Bible and I will continue to volunteer because I want to keep growing.

 

The only expected blessing I have is an eternity with Jesus, everything else is icing. There has only been one time when I wanted to shout to God and scream at Him and ask Him why. Many of the trials we go through are almost always self-inflected and if they aren’t self-inflected I can see the way God is working through everything. We had some upsets to our income this past fall, which is in addition to three years of ups and downs. However, right around this time we did a service on financial giving, which I do so gladly. But this time I was upset because it was said that if you are not giving to God you are stealing from Him. Well, we were giving! We were giving gladly and things still got tough! I was so angry and for one brief moment I wanted to give up, which is so much worse than being comfortable. For one brief moment I wanted to throw in the towel because we are passionate servants of Christ and we constantly go through these trials that grind down my energy and keep me from sleeping well at night.  

 

Then I remembered what I have always known: our trials shape up, Jesus provides all our needs, Jesus will guide us, and there is a plan. Okay, I can handle that. I can’t say that I always like it because I don’t like walking around in the dark. But I can say that as long as the Lord continues to mold me and put me through the fire that I will let Him shape me with His Words, His plan, and His love. Sometimes I think he pokes me too hard but, again, I suppose the Creator of the universe knows how much it’s going to take to bring me wherever it is that He is taking me. How could I ever get comfortable? God’s always shaking things up. I don’t sit down long enough to be comfy and I don’t plan to either.

 

“I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘These are my people’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’” (Zechariah 13:9)