Getting Up

“Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes.  He went to the Tabernacle and worshipped the Lord.  After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.”  (2 Samuel 12:20)

 I was lying in bed that Sunday morning and I didn’t want to get up.  I try to grasp the words that could explain how I was feeling but I don’t think words can adequately describe it.  I knew I could just stay in bed and shut the world out.  I knew that I could lay there forever letting the waves lap over me until I finally drowned.  However, this verse came to mind. 

David didn’t get what he wanted.  David’s son died.  The first thing he did was get up, clean up, and worship God.  I didn’t get what I wanted either. That morning I did get up.  I didn’t put on a happy face.  I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.  All I knew was that I needed to spend the morning with God and I did.  I do this everyday; this making myself get out bed and face whatever the day may bring.  Some days are easier than others.  Today was a harder one.

I am writing because my friends are encouraging me to start sharing my ramblings once again.  I am not sure if this will keep or not.  All I want to do is lament and that isn’t so fun to read or write day in and day out.  All I know is the road ahead of me is cloudy but I am equally sure that God has great plans and will most definitely turn beauty from what feels like ashes at this very moment.  God is so incredibly good, faithful, and strong.  I thought I had before but I know now I didn’t lean on Him the way I should have.  Now, I feel all I am doing is leaning (or falling over) on my Savior and blindly trusting everything will work out fine when everything feels so wrong. 

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

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