Mountains and Valleys

“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.” (Psalm 127:2)

 I slept almost all day on Friday.  Some people would say I deserved the long nap.  Others might think I am lazy.  I wonder if it was because it was the first time since, I am pretty sure, December that we had nothing planned and no activities going on and my body didn’t know what to do and just shut off.  I am coming off my daughter’s musical and an amazing VBS and I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect down-time weekend.  However, I am sad to see I haven’t reached some personal goals and even more sad with the loss of life going on while I experience these mountain top things. 

 I realize that some people will be in a really great place while others walk in the valley of shadows and that it’s normal.  My high school class lost a childhood friend last month.  Last week a friend from our high school “gang” lost his mother to cancer.  My friend’s daughter has been in the hospital for over a week after her appendix burst.  As the world knows, many deaths have plagued the media in recent weeks.  But, on the other hand, our church family is coming off a surprisingly successful event and the future looks bright.  My family is healthy and happy and the bills are paid.  I love my job and I am about to see one of my best friend’s next week.  I really have nothing to complain about.

 So, as I start my week off conflicted I will remember to pray often, shake off the daily stress stuff, and count my blessings.  I know I will not always be on this mountain top as I know others will not always been in that valley.  We need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, pray for each other, and reach out to one another.  Life is happening right now.  Are you paying attention?

 “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth.  God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied.  God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.  God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.  God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called children of God.  God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of heaven is theirs.”  (Matthew 5:4-10)

Silence is Golden

“A time to hear and a time to mend.  A time to be quiet and a time to speak.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

 For a time I thought I have been experiencing a complete and total burnout.  I thought I was tired from long hours of homework, car pools, house cleaning (or lack there of), driving back and forth to wherever the kids need to be, and training at work which involved many long hours of staring at documents and spreadsheets and trying to remember what each one says. School is over, car pool is over, the kids are home more to help around the house, but now I have joined the planning team for VBS at church and that is keeping me very busy.  I have missed writing every morning but I haven’t been getting up in time to do it. I have felt lonely and like something was missing.

 This week I realized that nothing was missing.  Two things occurred to me at the same time.  First, I promised myself I wouldn’t write just to write and, honestly, I haven’t felt like saying anything lately. Second, nothing at all has been missing.  My plate is most definitely full and it’s full of really great stuff.  My daughter is in an amazing musical that has been eating up my weekends but I love being down at the theater and to be able to share this with her has been a blessing for me.  I love my job and the opportunities that have presented themselves to me.  I feel slightly overwhelmed but I know I am where I need to be and it’s going to be all good.  Finally, I am excited to be a part of VBS this year.  It’s crazy, stressful, and a blessing.  I am anxious to see the kids and the leaders walk through those doors Sunday night.  So, nothing has been missing.  God just helped me lighten my load a bit so that I could find balance.

 My relationship with Jesus may have changed a bit in the last couple of months.  I guess if I were to try to explain it I would say that up until May I was sitting down and having coffee with Him as we talked about life (thank you Sally).  Now, I feel like we aren’t talking to each other as much as we are building something great together.  He has never left my side and its okay that someone isn’t always talking in any relationship.  Silence is golden, or maybe silence is me going nuts from mixing too many things together.  So, if things seem crazy or you feel kind of off take a step back and try to see the bigger picture.  I am sure that you are in the midst of an opportunity and you will enjoy it more if you see it now than if you have to constantly look back on it later.

 “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it give us assurance about the things we cannot see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

A Big Plan

“But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.  And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”  (Matthew 10: 29b-31)

 I have been able to do a lot of reading lately.  The kids and I have been taking trips to the library and I am bringing home 6-8 books a week.  Saturday I read a book that I really felt reached in and touched my soul.  Have you ever had that happen?  I mean I read books I love, read books I can’t get enough of, and read books that I can relate to but this could book could have been about me and could have described my life before Jesus…and after (kinda). 

There is something about walking around feeling worthless and dirty.  There is something about wanting a prince charming to come and rescue you but after reading dirty romance novels you have an unrealistic idea of love and passion.  It wasn’t until Jesus met me where I was that I knew I was worth something.  And it wasn’t until Jesus cleaned away the dirt that I mucked up in my life that I knew what real love was.  It was then that I could truly love my husband and my children.  It was then that I slowly begun to learn about grace, forgiveness, and understanding.

God has a big plan for everyone.  Even in this economic and political turmoil God is here. He is there is your smallest and your biggest celebrations and struggles.  Jesus is there on the left and right.  God is sitting with you in the pew on Sunday morning and at your desk when you go to work Monday morning.  God is with you when you have to have those tough discussions with your kids and He is there when your kids make the right or the wrong decision without you looking over their shoulder.  God’s plan is perfect.  No matter what we decide to do His plan will work.  If anyone could screw up a good plan it’s me (ask the hubby) but God didn’t let me stay in that dark place.  He brought me out and now I can live in the light! 

“For I know the plans” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

Something Good

“This is what the Lord says:  ‘Stop at the crossroads and look around.  Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.  Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.’” (Jeremiah 6:16a) 

Sleep is a beautiful thing.  I can say that very proudly as I got my first good night of sleep in over two weeks.  This beautiful spring air is doing a number to my sinuses.  My allergies are in full force.  I have trouble breathing.  I am constantly blowing my nose.  My eyes feel like they have scratches on them.  I am starting to hear a gurgling in my ears and all these things combined leave me up most of the night because it’s hard to sleep when you can’t breathe and you are always blowing your nose!  It took all weekend but the insurance company approved the meds the doctor prescribed last week and I slept all night. 

 My relief comes in small doses.  If I want to sleep all night I have to take this pill at night which means I may be blowing my nose quite a bit today, at least until I supplement with something over the counter, but there is relief.  I will probably continue to be trapped in the house for a couple more weeks and then POOF my allergies will disappear, the drainage will go away, and I will be as normal and I can get.  In all the trials I have gone through, and that lay before me, this is probably small in comparison but it is a hard time for me all the same.  

Life is a constant stream of experiences, some of them joyful and some painful.  If we let Him, God can use anything to bring us closer to Him and to make us stronger.  I am surrounded by the joys of new life, friends making new homes, new beginnings, and even new careers.  I am equally surrounded by risky surgeries, the return of cancer, and people I love having to face the pain of losing their jobs, homes, and security.  Over and over again this week I have heard that God will use our trials to make us stronger.  I swear versus that cover this are everywhere I turn and I appreciate it so much.  As I spent about a month in a shadow of time and I see myself coming out of that, stuffy nose and all, I am thankful that I know that God will bring me through anything no matter how insignificant it may be or how heavy the burden feels. 

 “In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus.  So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.  All power to him forever! Amen.” (1 Peter 5:10-11)

Play Ball

“I called out to you so often, but you wouldn’t come.  I reached out to you, but you paid no attention.  You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered.” (Proverbs 1:24-25)

 The first few innings of last night’s softball game didn’t start out so great.  This was our first game in two weeks and our third time playing together.  Our team is made up of people who really don’t know each other.  We were grateful the first game because we came together quite nicely, last night we were off.  I really shouldn’t judge.  I play as little as possible (I am subbing and only as I favor, I didn’t want to play this year), so I feel bad when I cringe at the errors made on the field but something had to give.  

During the top of the fifth inning I looked at the other player in the dugout and suggested that we move some people around.  He agreed and we quickly decided who would move where.  Luckily, everyone on our team is pretty easy going and they each are willing to play where ever they are needed.  A couple of swaps of positions and we saw an immediate difference.  Before they were able to get almost ten runs, after the change they only got a couple more.  We did lose the game but we lost pleased with ourselves for knowing when to make changes and listening to the team in an encouraging way to perform as best as we could. 

 There are so many times when it feels like I am doing the same thing over and over again.  Everything becomes routine, regardless if it working or not.  There are other times when new ideas are presented that I just want to shut them down because there is no way that they would ever work.  I cannot count the number of times I should have changed or the limitless number of times an idea I thought was crazy turned out to be extremely successful.  I need to remember that I am not walking alone and I need to listen to God and be more open-minded to the people in my life.  I want to be humble and moldable.  Sometimes I feel hard and flaky.  Listen.  Listen for God and listen to the things going around you.  You may be surprised at what is waiting for you on the other side and you may just experience a better inning in life than you were expecting.

 “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19a)

Kids

“Then he put a little child among them.  Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, ‘Anyone who welcomes a little child like this one on behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me.” (Mark 9:36-37)

 As I pass my almost-teenager son’s bedroom I am repelled by the funk drifting from the dirty socks in his hamper.  I won’t tell you my view on torture today but I will tell you that I think a prisoner in a locked cell with my son’s feet would be singing like a bird in seconds. (Maybe I will write the Pentagon).  But my focus this morning isn’t only my son. I have actually been thinking a lot about the kids I have been around for the last eight years. It’s incredible how fast they are all growing up.  A boy my husband and I taught Sunday School to is graduating soon.  Boys who were in my first VBS group when they were four are now giants. A couple of our babysitters are either in college or all done! And there is a group of giggly fourth grade girls who have the potential of driving the confirmation class silly in a few years. I am amazed.

 I love these kids or mini-adults.  I am in awe with how each one has grown a personality, an attitude, a sense of humor, and (most of them) an extremely strong faith.  The leaders in our church have done an excellent job being role models and educators to our youth.  We have many parents who have been active along-side their kids, which makes a world of difference.  I appreciate the fact that my kids have grown up with the same kids and that they are becoming rooted in Christ together.  I can only pray that they work to influence each other and keep each other strong as they start to get into a world that our arms don’t reach all the way into. 

As I have said before, I didn’t grow up going to church.  I don’t know if that would have made a difference in the choices I made but I would like to hope so.  Because of our church family the kids have a sense of community and being a part of something bigger than themselves.  Many people are helping us raise these babes and I am thankful to each of you.  The children of our future need our time and energy today.  So, don’t forget to lend a hand here or there because these kids could use all the help they can get and love them so that they can carry that love out into the world smelly feet and all! 

“If you are a teacher, teach well.” (Romans 12:7b)

Lying

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.” (Proverbs 12:22)

 

This winter I went through a spell when I was really unhappy. I was overwhelmed and stressed out. I let my unhappiness seep into my feelings for my husband.  I do not think it is possible for me not to love him but there were a few days when I didn’t like him very much at all.  One morning I was listening to a sermon and the pastor was talking about agape love, loving like Christ, and I felt very convicted.  I realized that I had to make the purposeful choice to love my husband the way that Christ needs me to. 

 

Shortly after this epiphany in my faith walk a friend had told me how her husband had lied to her and how it was causing her so much pain.  I tried to share with her my experience of simply pushing through and loving unconditionally.  However, the more and more I thought about it the more I realized I had a hard time relating with my friend. You see, my husband has never lied to me.  I have never experienced that sort of betrayal from him.  That’s not to say that there hasn’t been other forms of negative behavior on both our parts, but he has never lied to me.  I trust in my lover, my best friend, and my soul mate (I am lucky it’s all the same guy!) with everything I am and everything I have.  So, even as I weather through the storms of emotions I think I hold on to that trust that helps cement us together. Above all else I know that I am not going anywhere and he is not going anywhere so if things aren’t perfect I don’t get scared because every hill we have to climb only makes our marriage stronger.

 

I really have a hard time imagining the frustration someone might experience if they were lied to, especially by someone they love so much.  I guess the best thing any of us can do is not lie ourselves.  I mean, if each of us are purposeful not to lie the chances of being to lied to are dramatically reduced because we are all telling the truth!  But for that heart that is already broken I do not know what to say. I know many of the things that I have done in my life have probably caused Jesus great pain and He forgave me every time I went to the cross. Lately, I have been doing a lot of “what would Jesus do”’s to analyze the direction I should go and it’s usually the harder the stance and the tougher path.  So, if you lied to Jesus, what would He do?

 

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.” (John 16:13a)

Squat and Paint

“The construction the Temple of God began in midspring, during the second year after they arrived in Jerusalem.  The work force was made up of everyone who had returned from exile…” (Ezra 3:8a)

 

I was sitting here praying this morning and had so many ideas. I know so many people who could use something, or I should say, need something. Of course, we can say that everyone needs something or is that everyone wants something?  There are so many things that would be so neat to do but I am only one person…I can’t do them all.  I could always sit my small group and see what we can put together but there will still be some limits to what our little posse can do.  I could always go to the church and see what we could do but there is so much to do how do you decide?  But then I realize, as I sit here rambling, that sitting here rambling doesn’t get anything done at all.  It’s not until we put one foot in front of the other that real change comes through.

 

Sometimes I see ministries as gigantic skyscrapers.  Skyscrapers are so beautiful and so tall and look amazing when they are completed.  However, it would take one person a very long time to build a decent building all by themselves.  Even a small group could get it done but there would serious time constraints and probably some talent deficiencies as well.  A huge group, or many small ones, would definitely be more effective spreading time and talents over a larger spectrum to complete the project ahead.

 

I guess where my thought process is dragging to this morning is that I know there is a lot to be done in our church, community, city, state, country, and world.  There is so much that could be done the task seems overwhelming but I am not alone and I am not expected to do it all.  Just because I can’t take care of the entire picture doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to find a corner to squat and paint. The more people who realize this the more that can be done because we all would be working on the helping and the giving instead of waiting for the right time, more people, or someone else to take care of it all together. 

 

“God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.  God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called he children of god.” (Matthew 5:8-9)

Off Schedule

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

 

I believe my need for schedules really became apparent during the five-plus years I did daycare.  I averaged 4-5 children at a time all under the age of 4 and then some before and after-school kids as well.  About half-way into this new vocation I started taking classes online, working toward the accounting dream I never wanted to admit I had.  Schedules are huge in my life, which means I have excellent time management skills (toot-toot).  However, there is a definite limit to my superhero abilities. I can’t have too much on my plate, even though I try, and if anything throws me off of schedule I am worthless and cannot function to full capacity.

 

This leads to my recent silence.  The classes I am taking right now are overwhelming hard and extremely time consuming.  Last week I had two big tests to take and simply thinking about how hard the tests were going to be stressed me.  On top of that our daughter got a part in the next children’s musical and the parent’s meeting and rehearsals started last week.  And, to make my life ever-more so complicated I discovered that in a fight between a partially opened can and my hand I will always loose, so my right hand was slightly out of commission as well.  I balance my life precariously on a very fined tuned schedule and last week I was off of schedule and, as previously noted, when that happens I tend to not be able to do anything. I got the basics down: kids fed and dressed and I went to work everyday if anything got done above that it was an act of God and I was very thankful to have Him in my life.

 

I know God has a schedule.  I don’t understand it and I don’t think I have followed it very well in the past.  Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has good plans for our future.  I wonder, if when we take our destiny into our own hands, if we throw that schedule off.   I have been thinking that maybe God has point A and point B picked out, knowing we’ll get to point B eventually, but how we get there is up to us?  I know with every bone in my body that God made me an accountant and I love it.  I didn’t get to college right after high school.  In fact, I just kept making babies!  But even though I may have thrown my schedule off I am still arriving at point B.  Even though last week was a sticky walk in the mud for me I still made it through and everyone around me survived as well.  So, when you feel like you have continually messed up the big picture remember God will always show you a way to point B.  We just need to put things in perspective, which means putting our trust in God, and holding onto the hope and promise that God knows what He is doing even when we don’t.

 

“So be careful how you live.  Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” (Ephesians 5:15-17)

God Moments

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

Have I told you about the church’s Parable Project? Just in case I haven’t Oakwood is the midst of a crazy mission where someone gave the church $5000 to be handed out to 50 people. Everyone who stepped up got $100 and it was up to them to grow that money. We have people making lotions, raising money for a young lady in the hospital, making dolls for kids who are sick, teaming up with Habitat for Humanity, doing can drives in schools, starting new college scholarships, and so much more. This has been an extremely exciting time in our family of faith. Gabrielle and I went up for this mystery assignment. I had no idea what we were going to do until I saw a homeless guy on a bike by my work and I knew: bikes. Our small part of this huge Parable Project was going to have something to do with bikes.

 

Greg and I, mostly Greg, have begun the process of reconditioning and fixing up three bikes. I had no idea who to give these bikes too but I know there are a lot of people who are trying to get back to work, have no transportation, or just need a break but where do I start? We take the bikes to Rasmussen’s in Altoona when we need more extreme care done. We went there a couple weeks ago to pick up a tire and a bike that had been worked on. Part of this bike idea is that I would really love to host a Parable Bike Ride/Walk. I have never tried to set up a huge ride before so I asked the clerk how to do it. We kind of explained what we were trying to do. The guy working the counter happens to work for the Iowa Workforce Development and knew of at least one person who could really use a bike and thought that several others would probably be candidates as well. I am very excited!

 

God is so good. He came down and met me exactly where I was. I knew that bikes were our focus but I didn’t know how to get from point A to point B and who to give them too. Now, we are going to try to work with Iowa Workforce Development and figure out what the process of giving them the bikes would be so they could give them to the people who need them. I am still floundering about the bike ride but we’ll get there. I was reminded, in the most simple way, that I do not need to come up with all the answers and not every solution can be found in Google®. God will guide me and show me the way!

 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Roman 8:28)